Page 59 of Why We Break

“We both know what I’m talking about, Will. I heard some of the other residents saying that their monthly costs were going up, and I started wondering about mine. I know my granddaughter would lie to me if I asked her about it, so I had them pull the records. I mean, I’m not trying to sound ungrateful, but I can’t let you do that for me.”

“Yeah, you can. You gave me an opportunity several years ago when I needed it, so just think of this as me repaying the favor. Just don’t tell Hannah,” I tell him, trying to focus back on the board in front of us.

“We’ll come back to the money discussion the next time I see you, but since you brought her up… Are you ever gonna admit that you’re in love with my granddaughter?” he asks, jumping one of my pieces before leaning back to give me a knowing look.

I blink a few times, trying to decide if he actually just said what I think he did before eventually stuttering, “What? I—I don’t?—”

“Come on now, Will. I may be old, but I ain’t stupid. You’ve been in love with her since you two spent that summer sneaking around the farm. I know y’all thought I was oblivious, but even I couldn’t miss the way you two looked at each other. All these years, you’ve been coming to see me, and I kept waiting for you to bring it up. Hell, between you and Hannah, I thought for sure one of you would give in and tell me eventually. You didn’t and I told myself to be patient, but after all this, I’ve gotta know. What the hell is going on between the two of you?”

“Honestly, Mr. Scott, I wish I knew,” I tell him, still trying to figure out what to say.

“I wish you did too, because I’ve gotta say, I’ve never seen either of you as happy as you were that summer. And I don’t mean to be dramatic, but I’m an old man and she’s all I’ve got left. I just want to know that when I’m gone she’s gonna have someone to look after her. I don’t know what happened, and honestly, I know it’s none of my business. But I also know that if anyone in this world deserves happiness, it’s the two of you. And I hate the idea of the both of you throwing that away,” he says, and I just stare at him in shock for a minute.

“Yeah, I know you’re right,” I admit, trying to gather my thoughts. “But I don’t know how the hell we got here, and I don’t know how to fix it either.”

Mr. Scott nods, and I can tell he’s deep in thought. “Just don’t give up on her. My Hannah Banana is a lot of things—smart, hardworking, caring. But she’s also scared to get hurt again—the way she did when her parents left. She needs someone to love her that she can’t push away.”

I nod, knowing he’s right. “I promise,” I agree, turning back to the board in front of us and making a move. “Your move, old man.”

CHAPTER 44

WILL

SEVEN SUMMERS AGO

Ilook down at my watch, feeling a slight wave of frustration hitting me as I realize I never heard back from Hannah after her appointment. But we’d agreed to meet tonight earlier in the week, so I push those thoughts aside, figuring she may have just gotten busy working around the farm.

Plus, I haven’t had an extra moment to check in with her the way I normally would. Between the shitshow of a conversation with my dad earlier today, the summer coming to an end this week, and the knowledge that my dad managed to break my mom’s heart all over again when I told her about everything that happened, my mood is already shit.

I pull into the driveway and fire off a text to her, letting her know I’m here, dimming the headlights and running my hand over my face.

The last thing I want to do is let my fucking dad ruin our last few days together, the way he tends to ruin everything else. I attempt to push him and his bullshit out of my mind so I can focus on Hannah. It’s taking her longer than normal to make her way to me, but I figure she may not have seen my text right away. After a couple more minutes, I finally catch a flash of movement in the darkness ahead of me, and Hannah emerges, pulling up the door slowly.

I can immediately tell that something isn’t right with her. Even in the dark cab of the truck, I can see that the usual fire in her eyes is gone, and she makes no move to kiss me like she normally does when she crawls up beside me, sitting as far away from me as the truck will allow.

I feel an alarm of unease go off in my head, but I shake it off, telling myself she’s probably just as sad as I am at the prospect of going back to college this weekend.

“Hey, Han,” I tell her, pasting on the best smile I can muster and leaning over to drop a kiss on her forehead. She doesn’t reply, just gives me a tight smile that looks more like a grimace, and I turn back to restart my truck.

Just as I turn the key, she reaches out and places her hand on my arm. “Just stay here.”

My face twists in confusion as I look over at her. “I thought we were going to our creek. You don’t want to tonight?”

Hannah refuses to look at me, crossing her arms over her chest and holding herself tightly before whispering, “Will, we need to talk.”

I feel like ice floods my veins at those words, and I just stare at her, waiting for her to say whatever’s on her mind. After a moment, she continues. “This summer has been incredible, but we’ve got to be realistic. We can’t go on like this.”

“Like what?” I ask her, trying to figure out where this is coming from. “I told you we just have to make the distance work for a year, Han. Really just a couple months while school’s in session. Then, I’ll be done with school and I’ll do whatever it takes to make this work. If next summer you want me to move to Tuscaloosa for your senior year and work odd jobs until we’re both ready to move home, I’ll do it. But I can’t let you walk away because you’re scared.”

“Fuck you, Will,” she snarls, and I’m taken aback by the anger in her voice. “I know you think you’re Superman, but you can’t fix everything. You don’t just get to decide that we’re gonna be together!”

“What the hell, Han? Are you serious? We literally just talked about this the other day and you told me that this was what you wanted! And now you’re acting like what? I made it all up?”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Will. We’ve been acting like a bunch of fucking idiots, and I can’t do it. I’m sorry, but I’m done.”

I reach for her, refusing to accept the bullshit she’s spewing right now. “I’m sorry, Hannah, but I’m not okay with that.”

As soon as my hand brushes her arm, she pulls back, finally looking at me long enough to notice the tears streaming down her face. “Han, please talk to me. If this is really what you want, then why the hell are you crying?”

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