Page 28 of Matchmaking Under the Mistletoe

Lizzie: Please tell me something else happened…

Well, here we go.

Me: Good morning! Dang, that sounds serious.

Me: What happened at work?

Lizzie: Oh, just something with one of our fabric manufacturers. I’ve spent the last twelve hours on the phone with the company in Switzerland trying to get it sorted.

Lizzie: Stop trying to distract me though.

Lizzie: What’s happening between you and Mr. Mayor?

Lizzie: Please tell me it’s something dirty…

Me: Ummmm…

I’ve barely sent the text before my phone lights up with an incoming call. Before I press it to my ear, I can already hear Lizzie’s screech through the speaker.

“I knew it. You better start talking, or I swear to God…” she says, causing me to laugh.

“Well, hello to you too, sis,” I say sarcastically.

“This is no time for small talk, Millie,” she screams. “What the hell happened? I need details. I’m literally dying here.”

“Okay, okay. My word, I’d totally hate for you to be dramatic,” I tease. “But it’s really not a big deal.”

“Hmm, I think I’ll be the judge of that. Now, spill!”

“Fine!” I say, finally giving in. “We had a moment last night…”

“Andddd,” Lizzie says impatiently.

“We got stuck in the maze when the lights went out. We talked about the kiss, and he said he didn’t regret it. But then…” I say, purposely dragging it out to see what Lizzie will say.

“Mills, I love you, but I swear on all things holy if you don’t spit it out, I’ll—” she starts, and before she can say anything else, I cave.

“He told me he didn’t want to push anything because of the inn, so if I wanted him, I was gonna have to beg,” I blurt, and I’m met with silence on the other end of the line. “Lizzie, are you still there?”

“Bitch, then what the hell are you doing talking to me instead of asking him to fuck you till you can’t walk straight?” she yells.

I can’t contain my laughter at her outburst. “Liz!” I scold.

“Sis, I’m sorry. I know you’ve been out of the dating scene for a while, but this is where you get on your knees and go for it. I mean, really, how does it feel to be God’s favorite?”

“Lizzie. This is serious,” I yell, shaking my head at her response as I rise from the bed and make my way into the kitchen for my coffee.

“Trust me, Mills, I know. Do you know how many horrible first dates I’ve been on? Things like this don’t just happen. On the last date I went on, the guy insisted he wanted to pay for dinner. Afterward, we went out and had a good time but at the end of the night I refused to sleep with him. Millie, I shit you not, he tried to mail me an itemized bill for what I cost him since I wouldn’t put out… So basically, you have to go for him,” Lizzie encourages.

“I know, I know… I’m going crazy here, Liz. But also, I’m terrified. There are so many ways this could go bad,” I confess.

My sister lets out a sigh on the other end of the line before saying softly, “I know, but you can’t let that fear stop you from going after him, if it’s what you want.”

“But what if he leaves me? Decides one day that I’m not good enough like Allen did. Think about it… One moment, and ten years were gone just like that. Don’t get me wrong, I can see now that we were never right for each other, and I’m absolutely not sad to be divorced from him, but I don’t know if I can do it again, Lizzie.”

“Oh, Mills…” my sister says, her voice softening at my confession. “First of all, do you really think that you can compare Allen the Asshole to this whole situation? I know I haven’t met Brian in person, but from what you’ve said the two couldn’t be more different if they tried. And I love you sis, but that cheating bastard took the last ten years of your life…are you really gonna give him any more control over your happiness? If you ask me, it’s time you choose yourself, whatever that looks like.”

I pause for a moment, realizing she’s right. I haven’t been selfish or done anything just because I wanted to in over a decade. All my decisions in my old marriage were made to keep the peace, when I was even given a decision in the first place. I’ve sacrificed so much of myself, without ever stopping to think what I actually want. If I’m honest, I want to pursue whatever’s building with Brian. There’s no guarantee that it won’t end in disaster, but if I don’t let myself go for it, I have a feeling I’ll never forgive myself. And despite the fact that I’ve only known Brian for a few weeks, I know that he would never treat me the way my ex-husband did.

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