Page 173 of Happily Never After

To Do:

- Follow up with theater

- Take donations to Tender Hearts

- Deep clean guest bedroom for Bri

“So how are you doing, Claire?”Dr. Goulding’s voice was like oiled honey.

Claire snort laughed. What a loaded question. She leaned back into the faux suede couch and folded her hands in her lap. “Sorry. Um, fine. Good, I think. Happy to be home.”

The doctor stared at her through her bifocal lenses. Her clock ticked audibly in the background. “I know you appreciate it when I get straight to the point. So why don’t we talk about what happened to your sister?”

Brianna’s abduction had brought up a lot of feelings, it was true. They had been back in West Haven for four days, but Claire was still exhausted, sore, and wound up from the events at Big Z’s house. She couldn’t be a good friend, daughter, or girlfriendwith all these unresolved feelings swirling around. Maybe it would help to talk about it.

She took a deep breath. There was no point in sugar-coating things—Dr. Goulding always saw straight through her. “I think I’ve been having trouble processing it, to be honest. So many shitty things have happened in the last year.”

“You’ve certainly been through a lot. More than most people go through in a lifetime. How did you feel when you realized she was missing?”

She twisted her hands together. “I was terrified. It felt like I swallowed a bowling ball and it fell out of my butt. Bri didn’t have a mom who hammered her with personal safety tips every single day growing up. Not that she isn’t feisty or capable. But I was so afraid that we would be too late, and she’d be dead before we found her.”

Dr. Goulding’s chocolate brown eyes poured into hers. She dangled a pen from one hand. “And you know firsthand what it’s like to be in her position. It must have been hard for you to relive that, especially so soon after your most recent abduction.”

Claire grimaced and drew a pillow into her lap. “Honestly, it was harder being one of the people who was left behind. When I was taken, even though I wasn’t in control of the situation, I was in a position to do something about it. Fight the bad guy, escape. But when Bri was taken, we knew who had taken her, but we had no idea where she was. I think I finally understood what it was like to be Luke, or Mindy, or my mom the night of the Barney incident. Just utterly helpless. It was awful.”

“You struggle when things are out of your hands. Even when they’re not your responsibility,” Dr. Goulding observed.

“Of course I do. I mean, she’s my baby sister. And knowing firsthand what she was about to experience?—”

Claire faltered. Tears pooled in her eyes, and one escaped. Dr. Goulding handed her a tissue.

“I didn’t know if we’d ever see her again. I know she only came into my life less than a year ago, but she’s family. She’s a piece I didn’t even know was missing.” Claire tapped her heart. “I don’t know what I would have done if we hadn’t found her.”

Dr. Goulding nodded. “How is Brianna doing?”

“She keeps saying she’s okay. She’s seeing a therapist, and she’s going to come stay with us for a little while when her shoot is done. I just can’t stop worrying about her. I’m afraid that she’s going to do what I tried to do. Ignore the source of the pain and bury herself in work until she alienates everyone close to her. Or, you know, starts sleepwalking into the Pacific.”

Dr. Goulding shifted in her chair. A small smile appeared. “It sounds like you’ve had time to do some introspection.”

Claire shrugged. “It was a five-hour flight.”

“First, Claire, I want to remind you that you’re in a unique position to help your sister. No one else in her life truly understands how she’s feeling. I want to encourage you to be there for her as you’re able. You seem to get a lot of joy from helping people. It might help you to help Brianna. As uncomfortable as it is to confront these emotions, to talk about the awful things that have happened to you, it’s so important. Sometimes you need to make yourself uncomfortable in order to grow, or even just to cope. You’ve seen what happens when you try to keep everything inside.”

She nodded. “There’s nothing quite like being arrested for trespassing while dressed as a hotdog.”

The doctor smiled. “How has your sleepwalking been?”

“Better. The benzos have really helped, though Luke says now I plan proposals in my sleep. He nudged me awake last night and told me to stop talking about taffeta.”

“When we last spoke you were facing some challenges in your relationship. How are things going now?”

“Much better. We both have things to work on—obviously—but I’m feeling really connected right now. I’m trying to do better, to be more present. I’ve made some changes to my work schedule and office hours. And it’s not because I feel like I have to, if that’s what you’re thinking. I wanted to. It was time. Brad’s proposal really burned me out. It’s time that I enforce some boundaries and prioritize the people who matter most.”

“You’re putting a lot of effort in. That’s great to hear. I hope that Luke’s reciprocating.”

Claire unclasped her hands. “He’s grumpy and opinionated, but annoyingly amazing as always. He plans date nights, cooks and cleans, listens every time I need to bounce something off him. I can’t believe I almost lost him because I kept throwing myself headfirst into danger. He means so much to me.”

Dr. Goulding nodded. “I hope you have some peace now that all those men have been incarcerated.”

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