Aleron hoped Gideon could feel his doting actions, trusting he wouldn’t reject them.
He hoped they gave him pleasant dreams.
When Aleron woke from his slumber, he did so with his arms empty of a soft and alluring human, and night still present. His body lacked an external heat source – one that didn’t even tentatively press against his back.
Fur and feathers lifting in apprehension, a lance of disquiet pierced his gut.Where did he go?
Lifting his head to dart it around, he searched for the male who smelt like the freshest, dewiest forest. Aleron didn’t have to look far. Relief immediately washed through him, and he let out the breath he’d incidentally been holding.
Gideon sat a few feet away. Close enough to show he had remained by his side, but far enough that they weren’t touching.
Immediately he sensed something was wrong.
The hard and heavy pound of Gideon’s pulse, the sharp, shallow breathing, and the tension in his shoulders was all alarming. With his knees up and one arm crossed over his lap, while the elbow of the other leant on his right knee, Gideon covered his eyes and appeared to be pressing his fingers into them.
I have only seen him do this when he is deeply distressed.
Aleron shifted to crouch, then cautiously crawled over to him on his hands and feet.
Considering what they’d done before this human slept, he’d expected him to wake... well. Aleron had held him, petted him, gave him soft licks so as not to disturb Gideon until he himself had drifted off hours later. Aleron thought he’d wake up peacefully, contentedly, with this human still in his arms.
Aleron always woke before him. Being Mavka, he only required a few hours of rest close to dawn, whereas Gideon slept the whole night – often restlessly.
He’d actually been hoping to wake up and replay their time in Tenebris, where Aleron had teased this male right after they’d been intimate. He’d been trying to stay alert to do this until Gideon’s soft breaths and heartbeat had eventually lulled him asleep as well.
To find Gideon sitting by himself instead instilled worry.
I did not feel him leave me.
Aleron also hadn’t heard him slip into Merikh’s lake and wash, considering the mingle of their sexual marking scents had softened. Gideon had even fully donned his clothing.
Yet... rather than coming back to Aleron’s warmth, he’d chosen to lightly shiver with nothing but his jacket to keep out the winter night air.
“Gideon?” he called softly, reaching out to brush the backs of his claws against his exposed cheek.
With a sharp gasp, Gideon darted his hand away from his face and turned to him. His eyes were glassy, with a small amount of pinkness at the edges. He didn’t appear to have cried, but he didn’t look well. Sweat dotted his brow, and he looked less colourful. Not pale, but not tanned like usual.
“You scared the shit out of me,” Gideon muttered, averting his gaze. “How can you be that big and so quiet at the same time?”
“Did... I do something wrong?” It was all Aleron could think, since nothing could have happened between their intimacy and now.
Gideon’s eyes widened with mild panic and shot to his skull. They softened, and a small chuckle fell past his lips as he rubbed the back of his neck. His ears pinkened.
“What? No,” Gideon reassured, casting him a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. His arm shook, and the trembling in his pinkened fingers was even more noticeable. “I had a great time.”
Why did that make him feelworse,somehow? Aleron couldn’t tell if it was a lie or not.
Aleron lowered onto his hands so he could be the same level as him. He dipped his skull underneath his gaze. “Then what is wrong?”
Aleron’s heart told him to scoop this male into his arms and hold him, but his mind said to give him space. Always space, always the opposite of whathewanted.
Gideon’s brows furrowed and his gaze hardened. He opened his mouth, only to shut it like he couldn’t decide what he wished to say. Avoidance, most likely. He rarely spoke about what lingered in his mind, no matter how much Aleron silently pleaded for him to.
Then the male covered his mouth as he looked away, only to scratch at the side of his scalp. Fidgeting and restless, he appeared to be fighting with himself.
“I had a... dream,” Gideon started, his quiet revelation surprising Aleron. His head bent forward to stare at the ground near his feet. “I remember a bunch of stuff from Tenebris.”
Fingers twitching, Aleron brought them closer to his abdomen and cupped them. “Were they notgoodmemories?”