Page 55 of A Soul to Guide

“How am I supposed to get back to Nyl’theria now?” she cried, knowing she sounded like a homesick child crying for their parent. “They were my only hope. They were the only ones who could have helped me.”

When her legs buckled, she crouched down so she could cuddle her knees while pressing her face into them. Raewyn made herself as small as possible, wishing she could push down her pain and be her usual cheerful self.

She couldn’t, not with the way her heart ached like it was moments from bursting.

She didn’t know how Merikh was reacting to her breakdown. Would he be irritated? Would he even understand just how much she was hurting? Did he hold any sympathy towards her at all, or were his own thoughts for himself and the failure this brought?

Would he stop helping her now that she couldn’t be of assistance to him, leaving her alone in this frightful, unknown world? Was he just staring down at her, empty of any kind of emotion?

“We came all this way for nothing.” Her shoulders heaved as she wept, shaking her head in denial, desperately wanting to reject the truth – despite knowing it was hopeless. “I don’t want to be stuck on Earth!”

Raewyn began screaming out her sobs. Her tears stained her face and the skirt of her dress that she’d crumpled in her fists. Her eyes stung and her nose was clogged. It was messy and gross.

Even after many minutes, he said nothing.Didnothing.

Most people would have tried to pull the one suffering in for a hug, maybe even patted their back, said something, anything, but silence was all that greeted her, like he wasn’t even there.

She grew worried he’d just abandoned her without even saying a word. Had he just left a weeping woman on the stairs to cry by herself, in disgust of her unruly behaviour?

“M-Merikh?” she asked through hiccupping breaths.

He grunted in response, and she hated how much relief it brought. Then, he pulled her shoulder back, and her backside fell to the stair behind her. He’d sat on the step next to her and forced her to sit as well.

Raewyn wiped at her face with the sleeve of her dress, uselessly trying to remove tears that wouldn’t cease. She lifted her head properly as she hugged her midsection.

“I’m sor-ry,” she sobbed, her lips quaking, mirroring the trembles that wracked her entire body. “I promise I’m trying not to cry, but the tears just won’t stop. W-we can leave in a moment.”

A small gust of wind cut through her dress, chilly, like the sun was going down. It reminded her of how warm home was and how it was utterly different to here. Even the air didn’t feel quite as fresh or inviting.

“Whereas most villages have wooden stakes that make up their protective walls,” Merikh started, his voice quiet and stoic, “Ashpine City’s are made of stone and smoothed out with clay so it can’t be climbed easily.”

“P-pardon?” Raewyn asked, wiping at her cheek.

“You can see that the clay is a light grey, but over the years, the rain and dirt have made the top of the walls look dirty with grime drips. They’ve expanded the city twice, but you can still see where the old walls used to be by the ring of gaps between the houses.”

Raewyn had no idea what was going on. He was talking about this town’s stupid walls like one would the weather.

“The steps we’re sitting on,” he continued, “are mostly made of grey cobblestone, but at the very bottom, the path becomes dirt. The path is straight, and if you follow it, you’ll greet the main entrance into the city, where they have the black iron portcullis we passed when we arrived. It’s the only entry into the city, and the temple sits on the other side, as far away from it as possible. There’s a river that runs like a cross-section through the main path, but nothing can swim through it to invade the city because of the water gates. There are multiple bridges that allow people to cross the river.”

Raewyn’s tears didn’t slow. Actually, they increased in severity when she felt he was ignoring her pain. Perhaps it was childish, but Raewyn just wanted someone to bring her in for a hug and make her feel like she wasn’t alone or had any reason to be scared.

“Why are you telling me this?” she choked out, her face twisting.

“I don’t know,” he grumbled. “You asked me earlier what the sky and trees looked like.” When her brows drew together tightly, he added, “I have never been comforted, nor have I ever comforted another. I’ll stop.”

Oh,she thought as a remorseful pang lanced her gut. Her tears bubbled more, but for an entirely different reason.I’m such a terrible person.

She covered her face in shame while turning her knees inward to make herself smaller, realising she’d been thinking the worst of him. That, because he was a monster and a little mean, he couldn’t hold an ounce of compassion for her. She’d thought that way inside the temple’s sanctuary as well.

Yet, here he was, sitting beside her and trying to be supportive in his own way – obviously uncomfortable and unsure ofwhatto do.

He wasn’t abandoning her, mocking her, demanding that she stop crying and get up so they could move on. He wasn’t trying to drag her around. He was letting Raewyn release the dam of her emotions, and he’d even tried to calm her.

Is this why he hates people? Because they treat him like nothing but a heartless monster?She couldn’t believe she’d been doing that as well.

His abrasive personality didn’t aid his case, but she wondered if that came from hundreds of years of judgement. She was sure she would have started resenting the world if it treated her badly.

Shaking her head in her hands, Raewyn shuddered a breath. “P-please, don’t stop.”

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