Page 169 of A Soul to Guide

He resumed his earlier touching, although much softer, and just admired the pretty female in his arms. Eventually, he lightly grabbed around her jaw so he could steer her face until it was pointing upright at his own.

He currently had a well-pleasured female on his lap, covered in his seed, who was peacefully asleep as though she wasn’t being held by a monster.

A burning sensation, both pleasant and painful, tried to sear him from the inside.Why are you doing this to me?

He thumbed her lips, remembering how they’d sweetly moulded against his skull, and hoped to feel them again.

The burning sensation was unwelcome, as it only lived to show him he was being foolish. The likelihood of Raewyn ever becoming his was low – lower than any lustful acts they shared together. It was doubtful their hearts would ever align, and this would probably end up with him feeling lonelier than he ever had before.

Yet, he couldn’t deny he didn’t particularly want this to stop, too weak to the charm of this ethereal fairy to not submit.

Not just the sensual touching, but also this. Holding her felt oddly wonderful, and her curled up to him in trust did strange things to him. It soothed his mind, quietening all his terribly despondent and painful thoughts.

He didn’t even want to wake her to move, not when it would disturb this contentment. This might be the happiest moment of his life, and not even the realisation that it might be hisonlyhappy memory diminished it.

Raewyn rubbed her face against the sheets in hopes of removing any sleep or possible drool – only to discover that fur tickled her cheek. She patted her hands forward and touched something warm, moving from breaths.

She realised it was Merikh’s stomach.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to fall asleep,” she grumbled, rubbing the tip of her nose against him. “How long was I out?”

“Two hours, maybe more,” he answered, his gruff voice lazy, as though he was utterly relaxed.

Two hours?She couldn’t believe she’d napped for that long!

His voice, warmth, and scent had lulled her into a trance. She hadn’t even known she was passing out until she woke up.

“Why didn’t you lay me on the bed?” She felt bad he’d been stuck where he was.

“You looked peaceful,” he said as he brushed the back of his hand across her cheek. “I didn’t want to move you in case I woke you.”

Raewyn nibbled at the inside of her cheek. She felt like a pet asleep on its master’s lap, keeping them there forever until the pet decided to move. Would he have sat there for eternity so as to not wake her? Why did just the thought make her heart dance?

Sex was a useful tool to show someone you liked them both inside and out. She had been wondering if using it to break down his walls could make Merikh sweeter, could soften him.

He was proving she was right.

She made no comment, knowing if she did, he’d want to get up to flee. Instead, she selfishly rested there a little longer and just petted the fur on his side.

“Should I have laid you on the bed?” he asked, second guessing his decision.

“No. This is nice,” she reassured.

Since he seemed fine to let her stay there, she let her mind wander for a while. Raewyn had questions, so many of them. She’d wanted to broach them for days, and she’d tried to earlier when she asked him to share a pleasant memory. The fact that he didn’t have any was sad.

Should I ask him now?This seemed like a vulnerable moment. It was far more likely his heart was open to her now, and that would make it easier.

Raewyn, not one to hesitate, spoke. “Merikh, can I ask you about the woman you spoke to while I was unwell?”

His answer was sharp. “No.”

She felt guilty about pushing it, but she wanted to know. What she’d learned was only the surface of who he was, why he was the way he was, but it still left so many empty spaces. Learning about him was difficult; he only shared things that didn’t go too deep.

Like his skulled face, he bore scars, terrible ones, within the depths of himself. Raewyn wanted to help him heal some of them.

“She was your mother, wasn’t she?”

She knew she was, since Raewyn had overheard him call her that with asneer. It was like he’d only said it to insult her.

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