Page 156 of A Soul to Guide

“And you weremillimetresfrom death,” Merikh darkly added.

“What do you mean?”

“If you had moved in a certain direction even slightly that night, you’d be dead.” He placed his hands on the stone bench behind her, trapping her in so she couldn’t run away. “We were insanely lucky that night. If you had cut yourself on my quills while I was asleep, I wouldn’t have been conscious enough to cut off my own breathing to save you. My reflexes are fast, and you probably wouldn’t have even woken up to realise you were about to be eaten.”

Her lips parted and then closed, her brows twitching like her thoughts were scattered. One moment, she looked angry, the next hurt, the next confused.

“I am a Duskwalker, Raewyn. That is why I could not lay with you – I thought that danger would have been obvious. I just thought you were being your usual reckless self, and I wanted to protect you, but then you turned spiteful towards me.”

“Oh,”she blurted out, making it known the reasoning for his denial had never crossed her mind.

That did little to change how much she’d bruised him.

Of course, he’d wanted to hold her afterwards! He’d wanted that more than anything else, and he’d been quite self-hateful because heliterallycouldn’t. He’d wanted to painfully rip his quills from his own body just so he could.

His selfishness to just... hold something in his embrace, to keep it warm and safe, wasn’t enough for him. He didn’t wish to harm her or be the cause of her death.

“And, since I am sooffensiveto you,” he sneered, his orbs shifting to blue before he forced them back to their usual red. “I thought it would be best to leave you alone, especially since you so callously rubbed it in my skulled face afterwards.”

Now that he’d cleared that up, maybe she could reflect on how her words were harmful. He backed up.

“Wait, I don’t understand,” she said as she reached forward. Then, realising what she was doing, she pulled her hand back and cupped both to her chest. “Why would you think I find you offensive?”

Merikh’s head twitched as it tilted, taking in the more submissive way she was presenting herself. All her anger had deflated out of her and left her usual softness behind. There was also deep confusion reflected in every forehead crinkle.

“Do you really not know?”

She shook her head with wide eyes.

He turned his head away as he thought, tapping a claw on the side of his snout.

Was she not trying to be spiteful?

What she’d said had been eating him up inside, but if she truly had not known... then she really didn’t deserve his anger. It was still upsetting, and he would still sulk about it, but his behaviour would be unjustified.

He peeked at her expression again, finding it had deepened, and Merikh released the tension that had been rolling off him.

“I am sorry, then,” he offered, feeling saddened. Shame prickled down his spine, and his sight turned a reddish pink. “I will do better.” He’d learned something, and he wanted to come to terms with how that was his own fault. “I’ll be outside. If you need me, call for me.”

Since he’d apologised and would fix his behaviour, he thought she’d leave him alone. Instead, she chased after him as he moved towards the cave entrance.

“How many times do I need to tell you to stop and wait today?” she huffed. “I want to know how I upset you.”

He let out a sigh. “Don’t worry about it. If you don’t know, then it is not something you need to worry about.”

“Stop being so difficult and just tell me.”

He paused and then quickly dodged to the side so she didn’t run into the quills on his back. She turned to him with her hands on her hips. She was a feisty little Elf when she wanted to be.

“I can see this is an issue that has to do with me, and as an Elf, you do not have the same desire. Even a human wouldn’t understand.”

He felt like a coward, since the only reason he didn’t want to explain it to her was because he was embarrassed.

She tapped her foot against the ground again. “Don’t make me follow you around this whole area. Don’t test me, Merikh. I’ll even follow you into the Veil if I must.”

Why did he have a funny feeling she wouldn’t let it go? He grumbled to himself as he rubbed at his sternum, trying to remove the cold ache behind it.

“Duskwalkers are instinctually territorial,” he admitted quietly. “We are possessive of everything: our territories, our homes, our things.” Her lips pursed, and she shook her head to show she didn’t understand. “I marked you.”

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