Page 68 of A Soul to Guide

“This world wanted to see a monster, so I gave it a monster,” he added, his voice a croak and heart-achingly sorrowful. “If I’m lucky, maybe I’ll be better in the next one.”

He must have added that last part for her, like he was only doing all this because of the way Earth treated him, and if he was faced with a different world that was more accepting, he wouldn’t do these things.

Is that what he meant by freedom?Freedom to be himself, without being judged by his appearance, by what he was?He said he’s lived for over three hundred years.That kind of rejection for so long would have weighed on anyone’s heart and mind.

“Is there no one who cares for you?” she asked, her tone hopeful but filled with sadness because she feared the answer.

“No one.”

“What about your mother, or Weldir?”

They had to care for him, accept him... right?

“If I were to die, no one would sit at my grave,” he answered, his voice devoid of emotion. “Not that I would have one.”

Her heart broke a little for him.

This was the first time she truly learnt something deep about Merikh, and she wished she hadn’t. Some things were just too dark and painful to discover.

His killing... she couldn’t fully forgive it, but she could now understand it. She saw it as desperation; everyone, no matter their species, did insane things when afraid and desolate.

“Can you at least promise me not to do it while I’m with you?” she pleaded.

“Fine,” he immediately stated. “I have no reason to, since I was only doing it as a way to gain intelligence, to figure out a way off this realm. If I have you helping me, then I see no reason to.”

Her smile was the result of panic flipping into relief. “Really?” It was that easy for him to make that kind of promise? “Could you also stop swearing? It kind of makes me uncomfortable.”

She squirmed almost every time.

“Fuck no.”

Ughhh! She groaned and tossed her head back. She’d known she was asking for too much with that one.

“You should try it. Are all Elves this stiff? Like they have a stick up their arses?”

Raewyn’s face flushed so deeply, even the tips of her ears were hot. “You can’t just say that! The conversation of my posterior isnotone we should be having, especially not of something being up it.”

“They are just words,” he sighed, like she was being ridiculous. “They only have meaning if you give them meaning.”

Raewyn lifted her chin. “I give them meaning.”

“Prude.”

Her cheeks heated again. “Well, you’re mean, and rude! I am not a prude, thank you very much. I’ve had sex plenty of times. I just don’t think you need to be vulgar.”

“Once doesn’t count, and I wasmadeto be vulgar.”

“It was more than once!”

If only he knew the truth. Then, he’d be eating his words with his sharp fangs and choking on them. She, by no means, was shy nor bashful, nor had she been with a lot of sexual partners. The only reason she’d been strange around him regarding her nudity had been more out of surprise than nervousness.

She’d had a handful of lovers. Sure, she could literally count them on one hand, but they’d been long-term companions. She’d gained plenty of experience with them.

“You know what?” he said with a quirk of humour. “I’m going to get you to swear at least once by the end of our journey. I think you could do with a good bout of corruption.”

“I think you could do with some cleansing,” she grumbled.

“Are you offering?” he asked, most likely just to get a rise out of her.

---