Page 230 of A Soul to Guide

I can’t believe he did that to me.

Was this one of the reasons Merikh had been uncomfortable with sharing his thoughts, his mind, his memories?

“He followed you around for a week after realising you were different by your scent. He’d been able to sense your magic, but he knew if he approached you suddenly, you would be wary of him. He tricked you into making sure you’d leave with him, all so he could find out what you were and how to find more of you, with the intention of eating you for your magic to grow his own.”

Part of her wanted to shy away from him, while another glued her feet to his side.

She dipped her head and wrung her wrist to soothe herself. “T-that could be true...”

“It is,” Ulair said sternly.

“It changes nothing,” she answered. “He did what he thought he needed to escape Earth, and not once in the time we travelled together did he hurt me. Whatever he did, whatever his intentions were with me in the beginning, they changed.” The more she spoke, the more her confidence bloomed. “He protected me, cared for me, was kind to me. There were so many things he didn’t need to do for me, but he did so out of sheer desire and selflessness for me to be comfortable, to make me happy. He showed me more kindness in his actions and words than many of the humans I met there. How could I not forgive him after everything we went through together?”

“What did you say? What’s going on?” Merikh asked, but by the orange that sparked, she had a feeling he already knew.

Since Ulair wasn’t poking her anymore, allowing her answer to stand as the final stance on the matter, she explained to him what was shared.

“Raewyn, I’m–”

She turned a soft smile at him.

“It’s fine, Merikh. I understand, and it doesn’t matter anymore.” She was surprised by the tiniest whine that squeaked out of his lungs. “We can talk about it later if you want, but it’s in the past. We can just look to the future, okay?”

He gave a sharp grunt in response as Ulair and Mericato continued searching.

She hated the idea of them seeing or knowing of their intimate moments that came much later. Mericato did cough a few times, perhaps out of awkwardness, but neither spoke their thoughts aloud.

Most of what they learned, although cruel and bloody, eased their worries. That was, until they discovered his relationship with Jabez – not of his past, but what had happened most recently.

It was also something Raewyn had been unaware of.

When Merikh bumped the end of his snout against her arm, likely worried about her expression, she couldn’t stop herself from ripping it away from him.

With her hands clenched, her voice shook as she translated to Merikh what they were saying. She tried her best to remain composed rather than reveal any confusion or hurt.

Her half-brother had been just beyond the ward while she’d been there, only metres away, and Merikh hadn’t told her. A different sense of betrayal cut through her chest.

She’d already had feelings for him then, had already grown to trust and care for him. Why did that sting far worse than anything she’d learned before?

“He’d been considering joining Jabez’s side, not even days before coming here,” Ulair practically growled, if he could growl. “The only reason he didn’t make that choice was because Mericato brought his skull here. He would have sided with the man who had turned on us and helped him destroy our city, helped him command the Demons who still roam Nyl’theria.”

“That’s not true,” Cleth translated for Mericato. “You are leaving out that he was planning on telling Raewyn first if she bonded with him. He was intending to leave that choice up to her.”

As the head of security, now that Mericato could see Merikh wasn’t a threat, he seemed to be in support of defending him. He’d always been that way; hard when he needed to be, but always ready to side with those who were in need of help.

Orange sparks flashed in her peripheral.

Before she could say anything, ask a single question that hammered its way into her consciousness, Merikh’s voice penetrated her thoughts.

“It was either your people or my brothers,” Merikh stated. “I have already seen one die, have already been the reason for it. How could I choose between them and the bride I wanted?”

She translated this to the other councilmembers before she answered him. “How could you not tell me he was there, Merikh? I could have spoken to him, seen if I could have changed everything and brought him here.”

“Because he is half-mad, Raewyn. I didn’t want to endanger you when I learned how much this war means to him. Had I let you speak with him, and things went poorly, getting you through his portal would have been impossible if he became aware of your existence. You hadn’t made the sun stone yet, so the only other alternative would have been to enter his castle without it – which could have ended with either one, or both, of us dead.”

“Still,” she grumbled, finding what he was saying hard to argue with.

“I could not make the choice on my own. I had been intending to ask for your soul the day you were taken, and then I was going to pose what two paths were available had you said yes.”

---