Page 210 of A Soul to Guide

Raewyn thumbed the sides of the cup. She didn’t need him to explain it all to her; she was there, she’d seen it all.

“I made a sun stone,” she whispered.

In her peripheral, Cykran’s red eyes lit up with joy. “No way! That means you can replicate it and we can start taking back parts of the forest, the realm. People can start going to mine safely and bringing back stones to power the city.”

Raewyn slitted her eyes. “You made me leave it behind.”

His cheerful expression fell before it twisted into a cringe. Cykran spouted a bunch of curses in Demonish as he yanked on his white ponytail.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he snapped, glaring in her direction. “I would have allowed you to grab it.”

“Because you weren’t listening to me! I would have needed to get through the ‘monster’ to get it, and if he knew everything was fine, he would have grabbed it for me.”

“Well, how was I supposed to know?” His bottom lip puckered forward. “You should have stated that’s what you wanted.”

“Because it wasn’t. I only thought about the stone once I got here.”

Liquid filled her eyes.

She placed the tea on the ground when she realised she could no longer stomach anything. Even the food she’d eaten earlier felt like lead.

“What are you trying to say?”

“He was more than my friend, Cykran,” she sobbed, covering her face to hide the shame of her tears. They were like razors coming from her swollen tear ducts. “I didn’t even get to tell him how I feel.”

My gosh! The last thing I’d said to him was in anger.

If she hadn’t gotten upset with him because she’d been anxious about her own feelings, she wouldn’t have been outside by herself. She could have been by Merikh’s side, and she could have held his hand as they walked through the portal together.

Everything would have been different if there hadn’t been a wall of blades between them.

I ruined everything. It’s all my fault.

“Rae?” Cykran said as he pushed back her hair and tried to pull one of her hands from her face. “I don’t understand why you’re so upset over this. It’s probably better that he stays there.”

“Because I am in love with him, you stupid, idiotic, silly horn head!”

She bashed on his shoulders with purposefully weak punches. She just wanted to retaliate for all the pain in her chest by hurting him in return. He was too busy trying to fight her off to give any shocked expression.

“That Duskwalker meant more to me than you could even imagine, and I was going to fire your butt so I could make him my assistant!” She grabbed one of his pointed ears and started yanking on it. “And now he’s gone, because you couldn’t give me a moment of respect.”

“Ouch, stop it!”

When she didn’t, he gripped her wrists and hissed at her with his fangs bared.

Cykran wasn’t often angry, so witnessing it was shocking to Raewyn. She couldn’t fight past her hurt to be calm. His anger softened at her expression as she tried to curl into herself, then his eyes widened when he finally took in what she’d said.

“You’re joking,” he spat as he tossed her hands back and got to his feet. Disgust marred his handsome, sharp features. “You fell in love with that... that thing? It had a skull for a face, Raewyn! A skull!”

“I know that! I know what he looked like.” She clenched and unclenched her fists. “I held his face in my hands all the time.”

She’d liked how it felt.

How it was smooth except for where he had scars. How it was cool but eventually warmed under her touch. She’d liked exploring his fangs, his jaw, his rough horns. His short fur had tickled her palms, and she’d often drawn patterns in it.

“I’m not so guileless as to not know what I’m befriending, Cykran. You, of all people, should know that.”

He put his hand over his chest. “That’s not fair. We Delysians are different. We came here because we’d changed, and you could see that in our appearances. If it wasn’t for our horns, claws, and eyes, you couldn’t tell the difference between us.”

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