Page 179 of A Soul to Guide

“No, I know very little about that.”

Great. What more terrible things must I learn?Why did he have to become the keeper of knowledge for his kind?

“Do you know anything about the Elysian deities?”

“No. Not a single thing.”

She paused and turned to him. Her little lip nibbles caught his attention for multiple reasons. Every time she did it because of a desirous thought, he craved leaning forward to lick at them, to soothe them.

In this context, it was nervousness. It only made his apprehension grow until his tail curled.

“Do I want to learn this, Raewyn? As I told you, sometimes there are things I wish I had not discovered.”

“I don’t know?” she answered honestly. “I just would want to know if I were in your shoes... well, paws, I guess?”

Was she seriously making fun of his clawed toes right now? She’d nearly tickled the spirit right out of him when she’d gone exploring.

His silence, unsure of how to answer, was her opening.

“You’re not a Demon, Merikh, but there is a reason why you and they seem to share so many similarities.” She turned away from him, tilting her face to the sun. “When the Demons first came to Nyl’theria, the Gilded Maiden tried to help them grow fully formed. In doing so, she accidentally absorbed their void and only ended up hurting them. She began to lose her power, like an infection eating away at her holy essence, and she ceased trying to help when she nearly lost her divine status. The infection was like a contagion, and many other deities died.”

“What does this have to do with anything?”

Her features tightened. “She was pregnant. She gave birth prematurely, and what came from her was Weldir – a half-formed god. She hadn’t meant to harm him, never expected him to save her life by absorbing the worst of the Demons’ void. Like them, he had no physical outside. His early birthing meant he didn’t have anything internal, either. He was born as an essence.”

The coldness that rushed through his pulsing veins was like a razor.

“Great. So not only am I a servant, I’m also a fucking mutant.”

“No!” she exclaimed as she swam closer. She patted him until she pressed against his torso once more. “We never considered Weldir that. He was her son, but it’s complicated. He is a demi-god only because of his lack of power, and the Gilded Maiden gave him a duty which would help strengthen him. But...”

“It was also one that meant he couldn’t be near the other precious ‘gods.’” Merikh scoffed as he turned his head away. “Say what you will, but the intention was to get rid of him.”

“I wanted to tell you this so you knew why you were so similar, and that I worry what your existence will mean for him when the other gods learn of it. I’m sure he is aware of that as well.” Her ears drooped as she lowered her head. “I don’t like that you hate him. He was an outcast, just like you, and I want you to know that you probably mean more to him than you think. If he gains enough strength and does what he is supposed to here, he will be granted a position with the rest of our surviving deities. The Gilded Maiden has been weak for a long time, but her strength is returning, and she’ll be able to help him once it does.”

Merikh gently cupped her throat so he could lift her chin with his entire hand. He liked holding her there, and that she trusted him with a place so fragile and delicate.

“Whatever his reasons are, nothing you say can erase how I feel. I have met my father three times, and it has been nothing but information and pain. Thank you for telling mewhyI am the way I am, but it does nothing but weigh on my conscience, as does everything else I am forced to bear.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

He didn’t like the way his chest burned at learning all this, nor how her expression had turned so solemn. She’d been mystical to him before. He’d like to go back to how they were just a few minutes ago.

He removed his hand from under her chin so he could brush the backs of his claws up over her cheek. He moved them behind the point of her ear while flicking it, making her shiver, then brought the points of his claws down her throat.

He made a path down the flat of her sternum.

“You could always make it up to me,” he rumbled, hoping to ameliorate the situation – in a way that would make him very delighted.

Her eyes squinted in suspicion, her lips thinning. “What do you want?”

“Take this off while you swim.” He tugged at the poorly cut neckline. “I’ll even hold it for you.”

Her features brightened. “Oh. Is that all?” She was quick to wiggle it down her body and hand it to him. “Although I don’t mind if you lose it. I kind of ruined it.”

“No, I like it,” he answered as he stared down at her floating perky breasts. Her brown nipples were stiff, and he flicked one with the side of his foreclaw, causing her to cover her chest as she swam backwards. “The next time you wear it, I’ll tear it from you.”

He liked how teasing it was, since everything else she wore was long and mostly hid her.

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