Page 153 of A Soul to Guide

Either way, whether it was something she’d done, or this was just him, both left her feeling like someone had burned a hole in her chest. She didn’t think she deserved this cold-shoulder treatment.

It wasn’t often someone could wound Merikh. He’d suffered a lot in his life, from the moment he was born to the next breath he was about to take in.

He’d suffered multiple temporary deaths, had been in situations where he’d needed to remove his own limbs, had killed people. He’d had the light shone on how much the world hated him, what it thought of him, and how it would always treat him.

He’d long ago built deflective barriers to it, and just accepted whatever life would throw at him next.

So, for Raewyn to wound him in a single statement meant it had been a deep cut. It wasn’t something he’d prepared himself for, especially after experiencing something he also hadn’t thought possible.

Having her seduce him, to be inside her, to have her ask for more so he truly hadn’t needed to hold back... It had been like a heavenly dream. Even when he’d been rough and had to heal her multiple times, Raewyn hadn’t asked him to stop, slow down, be gentle. She’d taken him at full force and then came the entire time.

When he’d been kneeling over her, his chest was so full of euphoria for the first time in his life that he hadn’t known what to do with the emotions slamming inside.

Then, in just one statement, she’d tainted it.

He’d gone from an ecstasy-filled high to a soul-crushing low.

With a grunt at the cold lance of pain that radiated behind his sternum, Merikh yanked the last of the skin from the deer corpse in front of him. He was kneeling on the ground, his nose blocked by a satchel filled with garlic, basil, and lemon that he’d shoved into his nose hole.

He sat back and looked down at what he’d completed.

Why am I even doing this?he thought with his sight shifting to blue.

He was doing it for her, but he wondered if there was even a point to it. He guessed it was just because he liked to prepare for anything and everything. Even if she’d wounded him, some small part of him hoped it would be something he’d require in the future.

With the earlier interaction, he doubted it.

She hadn’t wanted to speak with him, and that was his own fault.

He knew he was being callous towards her, even childish, but he didn’t know how to deal with how he was feeling. He was angry with her, but he also recognised that he shouldn’t be, as it wasn’t his place.

I am nothing to her.

It made sense, but she was the one who had decided to start their intimacy, only to dash any hope he could have for more before it’d even started forming.

He grabbed the leg of the deer and dragged it out of his ward to throw it at the Demons, then stepped back into safety to watch the two of them eat it together. They were fairly small and stupid, but he’d rather not have them running back to Jabez and enlightening the half-Demon that he had an Elf here.

Hissister, no less.

Once the Demons were done, he made short work of killing them. He threw them into the river so they could wash down to the swamp Demons, who would feast on them. Leaving behind corpses would only bring more Demons, which is what he was currently trying to avoid.

Then he turned back and picked up the deer’s hide.I guess this would be useful to have even if I don’t utilise it for her.

Merikh started up the vibration in his chest as he entered his home, finding Raewyn resting on the chair still.

Since he’d cleaned his hands of blood, once he lit the cooking hearth and placed the deer hide in boiling water, he removed the horrible satchel from his snout. The only reason he’d obtained a cooking hearth in the first place was so he could boil whatever he wanted. Whether it be spell ingredients or turning hide into leather like he was currently doing, it was an invaluable tool.

Since he’d never actually made leather before, he obtained the book that detailed how from one of his shelves. When he turned back around, he found Raewyn at the stone bench, fiddling with the crystal from his diadem.

His earlier behaviour wasn’t aided by the fact that she’d finally taken away the one item he cared more about than his own life.

Once more, he was a creature forced into the shadows.

The silence between them was so heavy, it was nearly crushing. He was so used to Raewyn being bubbly and chatty that the lack of both weighed on him.

He wanted to fix it, but the moment he considered pushing his thoughts forward into sound, the cold pain behind his sternum intensified.

Merikh placed the book onto the table’s furthest side and searched for what he wanted.

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