Page 138 of A Soul to Guide

He thinks I’m beautiful...For the umpteenth time, Raewyn patted her cheeks, as though she was trying to wake herself from a dream.

It was hard to concentrate whenever she sensed he was nearby, even if it was only fleeting moments. Her mind was too preoccupied with what she’d learned.

Merikh had left her leaning against the cliff and had disappeared for a long time.

She only went out there because he was yelling at someone to leave, and it jolted her awake. When she cracked open her weary eyes, a ghostly figure was dancing around in her vision before it left with him.

Even though she was weak, she managed to drag herself off the bed to follow them.

They weren’t quiet, so she didn’t need to get too close, but she overheard everything.

When the conversation ended, Raewyn wanted to flee before he found her. She had ample time to, but she was barely able to stand. The warmth she regained was fading, and every second she remained there, she got weaker, until she was incapable of movement.

She’d even collapsed after Merikh left and had fallen asleep against the wall – only to wake up on the bed, almost fully recovered.

Since then, she couldn’t stop thinking about it.

He thinks I’m beautiful, and smart, and kind?He’d even uttered the wordperfect,and she had no idea what that meant, but dear holy Gilded Maiden, she wanted to fan herself. What a way to make a woman feel special.

It didn’t matter that he had barely uttered a word to her since, or that he’d been exceptionally standoffish. He made no mention of it, as if he was hoping she’d been too unwell to remember it.

Tough, because she did.

The question was... what did she do now that she knew he felt that way?

So, he likes me, I’m guessing?She didn’t know how deeply, but she thought that might be enough.He’s never tried to bring it up, though.

It had always been because of Raewyn that they’d had any form of intimacy.

‘I am hideous, inside and out.’Her heart sank a little to find out he thought that way about himself. Sure, he was pretty prickly inside and out, but he wasn’t hideous. He could be kind in his own way, thoughtful and considerate.

When she’d barely been conscious, she could remember the feeling of someone stroking her hair from her face, rubbing her back soothingly. He’d tried to force sips of water down her throat.

When it wasn’t his psycho, madman, or morbid, dark chuckle, hisreallaughter was scarce, but it just made it far more sincere when she heard it. It was rare, and she had a funny feeling he hadn’t done it much in his life. She also thought she might be the source of it.

‘I know that once I go to her realm, she will want nothing to do with me.’

I never said that.She’d been running headfirst into being his friend because of how he’d treated her, even more so when she’d seen he could be cruel to the humans but had never turned that towards her.

Groaning, she planted her face against the stone bench and covered the back of her head.I’m kind of horny.She squeezed her thighs together.How can knowing how he thinks of me make me even more attracted to him?

And he didn’t call her cute! It was the wordbeautiful, and that’s all Raewyn ever wanted to be. She would have skipped everywhere if he’d said sexy, or hot.

The moment vibrations came closer, she shot up before he could enter the cave. Pretending she hadn’t been having a sexual existential crisis, she patted the bulbs of the tulips.

He took something from the shelf and then left again, and Raewyn went back to trying to work. She fretted instead.

What do I do now?They could continue like this until she finished making the sun stone, and then they could go to Jabez’s portal. She was fine keeping things how they were.

There was no real reason to change it.

I kind of want to know what would happen, though.

She one hundred percent could have sex with him and then wave goodbye like it never happened. It didn’thaveto mean something, although usually she preferred there to be some kind of relationship first.

What she wanted to know was how he would actafterwards.Would he continue to be the prickly Merikh, or would he blossom into someone who would be tender? Was this as deep as his kindness could go, or was she just scratching the surface?

He’s thrown up walls around himself.More like shoved them six feet into the ground so they couldn’t be destroyed.

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