Page 137 of A Soul to Guide

Did she really think I would be so silly as to have that kind of hope with Raewyn?Not once had it crossed his mind.

Even if his face wasn’t the problem, Merikh knew his heart was ugly. He was too twisted up and broken inside to think something as wonderful as love was achievable. He might be capable of loving, but it was doubtful anyone would love him in return.

He was thankful she didn’t argue with his statement; he didn’t want her pushing false hopes onto him. In its own way, her silence on the matter was comforting.

Still, dashing his own hopes before he’d even considered them was more painful than he thought they’d be. Saying it aloud only made him realise just how lonely his future would be, even if he went to Raewyn’s world.

His rage faded, snuffed out by his own truths, and the fire he’d had for the conversation died. He was losing enthusiasm to argue when he was now just... tired.

He was tired of her, tired of living like this, tired of all the suffering he’d dealt with. Merikh was exhausted.

“Think of your brothers, then. If you go there, you could bring death to all of them.”

Merikh raised his skull superiorly. “The Elves would have to come here to do that, and I highly doubt they will. I will leave with her, no matter what you say.”

“How?” she asked.

“You think I would tell you, so you can let Weldir know and then try and stop me?”

“I’m trying to help you. What if you’re wrong? What if you bring about your own death, your brothers’ deaths? Do you really not care for them at all?”

He didn’t respond, not when he truly didn’t know the answer. It wasn’t fair for her to push that onto him. He was seeking his own happiness, to not feel desolate or like an outcast. Yes, he cared that they continued breathing, but other than that, he didn’t want to know them, speak with them, nothing.

He pretended they didn’t exist until they rudely shoved themselves into his life.

He waved his hand dismissively. “I’m done talking to you.”

When she didn’t leave, he swiped his claws, and she turned incorporeal just before he could make contact with her. The fact his hand went straight through her intangible body showed he hadn’t been feigning an attack.

She backed up, her face twisted in too many emotions for him to distinguish.

She returned to her physical form and drew her feathered cloak onto her head. Within moments, she’d morphed herself into a human-sized owl and he watched her fly off above the trees towards the centre of the Veil.

Whether she was truly gone or not, Merikh wasn’t going to stand there staring after her.

He was annoyed, all the inhuman parts of him ruffled and irritated. His heart and mind burned, wishing he’d never given his mother the chance to twist his insides into knots.

Funnily enough, he found himself wanting to seek out Raewyn. He wanted to check on her, maybe even soothe her while she slept.

He thought being near her might make him feel better. She was the only creature in this damn world he just couldn’t seem to hate.

Merikh turned around to make his way past the trees and the convex shape of the cliff next to him. It was like the wind behind him was pushing him forward to go to her so she could comfort him, even if she was unaware she was doing so.

As he rounded the bend, his heart nearly stopped in his chest as his orbs turned a stark white.

There stood Raewyn, leaning weakly against the wall. She was covered in a sheen of sweat, and she was trembling on wobbly knees. She still looked awfully unwell.

Fuck.The wind had been pushing in the other direction, so he hadn’t picked up on her scent. He may have also been too focused on his argument to be aware of anything.

The moment she shrunk into herself, her ears pressing down, she knew she’d been caught. Sheknewhe’d be furious that she was there. His deep, rumbling growl only made her step back in wariness.

“The next time you eavesdrop, make sure you’re not stupidly caught,” he bit out.

Then he spun away. Where he was going, he wasn’t sure. Just anywhere away from her and the embarrassment of what she’d likely heard.

It didn’t matter how long she’d been standing there; every part of that conversation had been incriminating. The last thing he’d spoken of... was her.

If he didn’t want to leave Earth so badly, he may never have returned.

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