Page 136 of A Soul to Guide

He’d been young, not long an adult Duskwalker, and none of them knew that crushing their skull would result in their everlasting death. They always grew back and thought they always would – no matter the cause.

It was Merikh’s actions that had shown them all.

It was his pain that became their knowledge.

“It’s not your fault, Merikh,” Lindiwe said, her voice growing soft and motherly. “I’ve told you this.”

“Shut up,” he said as he drew his hands from his face. “I know what I did, even if I didn’t mean to, and it’s just as much your fault and his for not informing us. You could have prevented it.”

She turned her head away. “He didn’t know either, but you’re right. I didn’t ask because I thought you were incapable of being killed, just like him. Iamsorry, for everything.”

“I don’t care if you’re sorry. I don’t care how many times you try to apologise. It doesn’t change it, nor does it fix what happened afterwards. It doesn’t change why I was created in the first place, nor does it negate what I have suffered since I took my first breath. Your sorry is just as worthless as mine.”

It should have been me.If Merikh could go back and choose, he would rather be the one who died. His life had been nothing but miserable. At least his brother could have lived a different life to the path he’d walked.

“I know life hasn’t been the easiest for you,” she said as she rubbed at her arm. “But youdohave a chance to find happiness.”

Merikh gave a saddened laugh. “What a ridiculous statement. Mavka are not destined to find anything good in this world.”

“That’s not true,” she said, stepping forward as she shook her head. She went to reach out to him comfortingly, but retracted her hand when she knew it was dangerous to touch him – especially since he’d lifted his quills on purpose. “Merikh, you will find someone. Orpheus found a bride, and he holds her soul.”

His orbs shifted to a deep blue. He took a step back, as though he’d been punched in the gut – and it actually hurt.

“What?” The blue deepened. “Orpheus has a bride?”

She raised her sharp brows at him. “You don’t know?” Oddly speechless, he shook his head. “It’s almost been two years since Orpheus found Reia. Even Magnar and Faunus have found females.”

“Who the fuck are they?”

Her dark brows knitted together tightly. “I thought you would know all this by now,” she said, baffled. “Magnar is the antler Mavka, and Faunus is Kitty.”

He knew of Kitty, but the antler Mavka had always been nameless to him.

Merikh wrapped his palm over the side of his snout in thought, the well of blue in his sight deepening. He’d been gone from the Veil for two years, but nothing like this had ever happened in the hundreds of years he’d been alive.

A Mavka gaining a bride? Impossible – that’s what he’d thought.

The female who killed Katerina... She must have survived.

Even if this was good news for his kind, the reality was too clear.

“Good for them,” he said slowly, before holding her gaze. “But no human will want to tie themselves to me.” When she opened her mouth to argue, he let out a warning growl while throwing his arms out. “Look at me! Not only am I frightening on the outside, I’m just as terrifying on the inside! You and I both know I hold too much hatred. I destroy everything that gets close to me.”

“You can try,” she offered. “There is someone out there, but it cannot be that Elf.”

Merikh tilted his head. “Why are you bringing her up again?”

“Because of me, you’re part human, even if you don’t look it. That’s why, when you make a human your bride, you’re compatible.” She rubbed at her cheek awkwardly. “I don’t know if she would be able to give you a child. It’s not impossible, but I thought I should at least let you know of my doubts.”

Merikh burst out into a fit of laughter. “It’s just too bad I don’t want one, then.” At her shocked expression, his laughter deepened. “You think I want to bring another Mavka into this world? I’m not interested in watching my own spawn suffer.”

Her opening and closing mouth reminded him of a gaping fish.

He hated how hollowing his next words felt.

“And you think that female would want to be mine? You saw her. Why would someone that beautiful consider becoming my bride? I am hideous, inside and out. She is too kind, too smart, too... perfect, and she can have someone who is just like her.” Then a gust of wind from behind her pushed its way through both of them as Merikh quietly said, “I know that once I go to her realm, she will want nothing to do with me. All I can hope for is that her people allow me to live among them in peace.”

He didn’t understand why her gaze turned sympathetic.

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