Page 31 of A Soul to Touch

“Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ve seen plenty of people getting their necks snapped in my line of work. I’ll be honest, though. It’s probably what I would have done without you since it would have been quicker and required less effort.”

“Am I not only going to have to protect you from Demons but from yourself as well?”

“I already told you I don’t really need your protection. I just wanted you to stick around so you could help me with chores I can’t do on my own. As well as...”

She never finished what she was going to say, her words trailing off before silence fell between them.

“As well as?” he tried to continue.

He looked up to see her lips had pursed tightly.

“People have expectations that I refuse to conform to. A part of the reason why I live here is because it’s my family’s home, and I wish to preserve it, but another is because living in a town just seems too tiresome.” Her movements seemed more jarring as she dug. “It’s kind of lonely, in its own way. I get bored easily.”

Mayumi chose her words carefully as they weren’t the complete truth.

Yes. She was somewhat lonely.

Humans weren’t supposed to live by themselves for long periods of time, and she’d been living in this cottage for six months with no one to talk to.

That was six months of having nothing else to think about other than her life with her now dead parents. Six months of thinking about her life as a Demonslayer and everything she’d done wrong and right in that regard.

She’d been a Silver-rank Demonslayer Master.

There were only two ranks above hers. Gold, which was the Elder rank and the council of each stronghold. Then the medallion wearers who were considered Elders as well, but there was only one for each district surrounding the Veil – north, south, east, and west. They invoked the rules and held the guild’s most sacred secrets.

As a Master rank, it meant she’d often overseen others. She’d saved many lives, but her decisions as mission leader often meant she’d been the cause of a lot of death.

Those deaths were on her hands, and there werehundreds.

She knew the name of every single one. She knew their faces. She was also the one to travel to their families to inform them that their loved one wouldn’t be returning home – that was her punishment. She’d failed them, and the consequence of that was to witness the agony in their eyes.

Sometimes she’d see their hatred like it was her fault the Demons existed.

It was designed this way so that those who oversaw lower members didn’t become complacent. It was to teach them that their teammates weren’t pawns to be used as Demon fodder.

But even though she was lonely and isolated, she could no longer live inside of towns. Rent was expensive, for one. People were struggling, and she couldn’t bear to witness it when there was little she could do to help.

She’d have to work.

The idea of Mayumi cleaning houses or cooking for stuck-up rich people was ludicrous. She’d have to work as a soldier, taking orders from some arrogant idiot who had rarely stepped outside their protective walls.

Her pinkie toe had more experience than most of them had in their entire lives, but she’d have to bite her tongue and listen to orders she’d want to disregard.

She’d have to watch over civilians, speak with them, listen to their problems, and keep them safe. She’d have to discipline them, and she’d seen not all guards were kind to those that were struggling.

In her eyes, it was easier to constantly be in potential danger living here than to deal with the sad reality of life inside those walls. Her father had once told her he felt the same way.

Colt’s Outpost was just one of many towns that were like it. Slater Town, which was relatively close by, had no keep but was sectioned in a similar way. For some stupid reason, the rich still got rich even in this apocalyptic world they currently lived in. There was still a ridiculous distinction within the societal hierarchy.

Humankind no longer cared about race or gender stereotypes. They didn’t care who loved whom.

What they cared about was how many people they could fucking step on to not go hungry and be as safe as possible. Greed was the true monster in this world, and it was just as prevalent as it’d been before the world was overrun by Demons.

Mayumi refused to be a part of it.

She’d rather die out here alone in the forest. She didn’t care if someone made her a gravestone like she’d made for her parents. She didn’t care if no one grieved for her.

Mayumi didn’t care if no one missed her.