Page 56 of Final Down

“Alissa, that’s a big deal!” her mom pipes in.

I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes, shaking my head. I have to steer this thing.

“Your mom is right. It’s an honor. But—” I give Adrian a pointed look, risking ticking her off. “This absolutely needs to be your decision, Alissa. You should only take on the role if you truly want it. Also, a few things you should know. One, the entire squad supports this. In fact, one of your teammates referred to you as the heart and soul.”

Alissa tilts her head, and her mouth inches up on one side.

“They did?”

Miraculously, Adrian doesn’t speak.

I nod.

“They did. And . . . you should also know that you are not expected to be on the mat for competitions. I firmly believe that you do not need to be the best athlete to be the best leader.” My gaze drifts to Adrian again, and when I do not sense her opposition, my muscles relax some.

“Okay, so I could, technically, come to competitions but not have to, you know, perform?”

She’s really considering this.

“Yes. Absolutely.”

Her gaze dips down again as she fidgets with the edges of the small plate. I stand, and her mom quickly stands to match me.

“I don’t want you to feel you have to decide now. You can think about it. Let me know tomorrow, maybe?”

I move toward the center of the room while her mom balls her hands together as if she’s about to plot how to take over the world. Alissa’s gaze lifts, and I hold out a hand to shake on our deal. She chews at the inside of her mouth for a few seconds, then shifts her plate to the center cushion and stands. We shake on it, and her firm grip gives me hope. I lean in before we part.

“And if you have questions or need to talk, without . . .” My eyes glance to my left, toward her mom. “You have my number.”

She giggles silently and nods.

“Thank you, Coach.”

“No. Thankyou, Alissa. I appreciate you weighing your options.”

I head to the door, but Adrian rushes ahead, opening it for me. Sugar is snoring in the same place she was when I arrived.

“Thank you for stopping by,” Adrian says. Her tone would make anyone eavesdropping think we’re old pals, but I know that’s not the case. Just as I know she doesn’t feel bad about putting me through a little hell or judging me.

“Have a good night,” I say, leaving her with a polished smile that I keep in place until I climb back into my Jeep and pull away.

I roll the window down at the end of the block, the late August humidity and harsh afternoon sun cooking me. I reach across the seat and point the air vents in my direction so I’m being blasted by all four at once, and when I glance at my reflection in the mirror, my hair is blowing like a pop star in a music video. I yank my water bottle out from the tight-fitting console and flip back the lid, holding the spout to my lips.

And that’s when the cramping begins.

I’ve dealt with this a lot since my accident. Spasticity is triggered so easily for me, and dehydration and stress are bothculprits. I’m sure that’s part of the problem now. But the way my arms and legs are tightening feels somehow different, and I can’t help but worry it’s because my body is different. Because I’m pregnant. And the litany of worries that follow that thought sends a rush of adrenaline down my spine.

I press my mom’s contact button on my phone screen and flip the Jeep around to head toward the medical center. I know she’ll panic, but I also know she’s home and has her phone on her. And of everyone that will panic, she will remain the most level.

“Hey, sweetheart, what’s?—”

“I don’t feel right, Mom. Meet me at the hospital,” I say, leaving her on speaker as I drive.

“I’m on my way. Do you need me to drive you? Should you pull over?” I can hear her hands flailing around the kitchen counter for keys and probably her handbag. Her SUV rumbles to life within seconds, which means she’s probably sprinting.

“I’m okay to drive. My muscles are just acting up. Can I just keep you on the phone and not talk?”Unless, of course, I need to yell and scream.

“Of course.” Her steady voice moves in. It relaxes me enough to stop the thundering pulse sounding in my ears.

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