Page 21 of Playing with Fire

“Oh myGod,” Xander whispered, scandalized. “Did youhand-holdyour way into a sexual awakening?”

“Xander.”

“Wait, don’t tell me,” they said, holding up a hand like they were conducting an orchestra. “Let me guess. There were soft noises. Tension. A gaze that lasted one second too long. Maybe even a forehead touch—”

“Okay,enough,” I hissed. “This isn’t a fanfic.”

Xander grinned, absolutely delighted. “But itshouldbe. Your repressed yearning arc is gold. Honestly, if I didn’t love Leo so much, I’d write it myself.” They flicked my arm with perfectly manicured nails. "So, what's the real problem here? That you got hard for the boy you like? Or that it’s Leo and you’re freaked out over losing your bestie?"

I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated that Xander could cut straight through my bullshit as always. "Both? Neither? Fuck, Dee, I've built my entire identity around being ace. Made peace with it. And now..."

Xander made a disgusted sound and tapped the back of my head.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“For being a dumbass,” he said simply. “Sexuality and your understanding of it can be fluid. For example, I used to think I was straight.”

I arched an eyebrow.

They sighed dramatically. “Okay, so that’s a lie, but I did think I was cis. Once. Maybe twice. But that’s not the point. The point is, you’re allowed to redefine yourself as often as you want. There are lots of identities even within the ace umbrella, my bro.”

“I know that. It’s just…” I dragged a hand down my face, frustration building again. “It didn’t just feel good. It felt… right. Like I’ve been waiting for it and didn’t know.”

“Aww.” Xander smirked, leaning back. “Xavier got the Boyfriend Feelings Patch.”

I shot them a look. “We didn’t even have sex.”

“Didn’t say you did.”

“It was… him. Touching me, beingwithme. He... he came on me, and I—” I hesitated, unsure how to say it. “Iletit happen, Xander. I was holding him. I didn’t make him beg or... or do any of the shit I usually do. I just... held him while he... let go and that was… That was enough for me.”

Xander’s eyes widened. “Oh, that’s adorable! You, Mr. ‘I’m-the-Alpha-top-in-every-scenario’ got undone by a sweet, cuddly gamer boy and you can’t admit it because that’d make yousoft!”

I scowled, but there was no denying the warmth spreading in my chest. “Shut up. It wasn’t like that.”

“It wasexactlylike that,” Xander teased, grin widening. “You’re just too much of a control freak to admit you’re into the vanilla side of things. I mean, Leo’s not even begging for you to fuck him, but you’re stilllettinghim have his way with you emotionally. That’s cute, man. You’re sowhipped.”

“We’re in public,” I hissed, my voice too sharp.

Xander leaned back, arms crossed, clearly loving the discomfort they were causing. “I mean, you can deny it all you want, but I see it now. You’re into him more than you thought. And thatsoftstuff? That’syourkink now, Xavier.”

"I hate when you're the reasonable one," I muttered.

"I know," they replied smugly. "I savor these rare moments when I'm the emotionally intelligent triplet. Don't worry, I'll go back to being a chaotic disaster as soon as this conversation is over."

"It's just..." I hesitated, finding it hard to articulate the storm of emotions churning inside me. "I'm scared, Dee."

The admission cost me, but Xander just nodded, understanding without me having to explain further. We'd always had that—an almost supernatural connection that let us communicate without words.

"Duh," they said, flicking my forehead. "Of course you are. You're stepping into the unknown. But Leo's worth it, isn't he?"

I looked toward the dressing rooms where Leo had disappeared. "Yeah. He is."

"Good," Xander said, patting my chest. "Now go get your man before I decide he'd look better in my collection of skintight clubwear instead of these boring button-downs."

Before I could respond, I caught sight of Leo emerging from the dressing room, looking uncertain in a deep blue button-down that fit him perfectly. The color made his skin glow, emphasized the breadth of his shoulders in a way his usual baggy clothes never did.

Something possessive and proud unfurled in my chest at the sight of him. Mine, my brain supplied automatically. But there was something else too, a warmth that had nothing to do with possession and everything to do with the shy smile he gave me when he caught my eye.

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