Page 58 of A Touch of Fate

I glared. “I guess then it’s for you to decide whether my spoken no is worth honoring or if your will rules in every regard in our marriage.”

Samuel glowered at me. He pulled his hand away from my panties and shoved to his feet. His erection tented his pants. My body still longed for his touch, but I wanted to send a message even if I deprived myself too. “Your no always trumps everything.” He turned on his heel and stalked out of the bedroom, closing the door with more force than necessary.

I closed my eyes, trying to calm my racing heart. My panties clung to me with arousal. After I had discarded them, I returned to bed again. I had little hope for sleep, though.

Samuel didn’t come to bed that night, nor the following three nights. Our conversations during dinner were polite but distant. I ached for him and more closeness again. He had dark shadowsunder his eyes, obviously not getting much sleep in his office, and I also feared he drank more than he should. I wasn’t sure how to address his drinking habits without another major fight.

I waited for him in bed the fifth night in a row, finally deciding I had to be the one who made the first move. Samuel was obviously too stubborn and proud, and maybe he was just content living in solitude, but I could not.

He didn’t like to be mothered, but he was obviously not taking care of himself. After a few more minutes of deliberation, I moved downstairs. Light flooded into the corridor from Samuel’s office. The door was wide open. Maybe this was a sign? Maybe Samuel wanted me to seek him out?

I moved into the doorway and spotted Samuel on the sofa in front of the fireplace, a glass of dark alcohol in his hand. On the fireplace, two photographs were propped up like a memento: one of him and his twin. They were teenagers and looked remarkably alike, though he was a head taller than her already. The other showed him with four young men. I only recognized Renato, but I had a feeling I knew who the three others were.

The flames played on his face and accentuated the darkness that had obviously taken hold of him. I hated to see him brooding in front of the fireplace, sinking deeper and deeper into the past and the mistakes he blamed himself for. Would he allow me to help him? I wanted to console him. I didn’t have much hope that he would open up to me today. That would take time, but maybe he’d allow me to make him feel better. I knew how tightly the shadows from the past could hold on to you, but I had freed myself—mostly—of them. The past still held Samuel in its relentless grip. I had to show him that I was his future, and we could shape it in a way that overpowered any darkness that the past held.

I heard the soft squeal of the wheelchair tires before Emma appeared in the doorway, shrouded in shadows. She was already in her nightgown. Her slim calves and elegant bare feet poked out despite the chill in the house.

She worried her lower lip as she watched me silently for a minute.

She wheeled over to me. I wished she would stop trying to drag me out from behind the walls I’d built, but I could see she wanted to try. She didn’t need my worries on top of her own.

I glanced away. “You should go to bed. It’s late.”

I had avoided her for the past few days. Part of it to make it easier on me resisting her. My body called for her closeness. The other was my stubborn streak. I regretted my decision to forbid Emma from taking dance lessons, but admitting to it wasn’t easy.

“Won’t you join me?” she asked in her clear, gentle voice. “I’ve missed you these past few nights.”

Her vulnerable admittance surprised me. After she’d pushed me away, I had thought she would prefer a little distance too. I knew she was eager for my touch, had been that day too, but my father had been very clear in regard to certain lines even men with our power shouldn’t cross.

“I can’t sleep. I’ll return to work once I’m done with my drink.” Or rather my drinks. On nights like this one, Scotch was never enough. While Dante steered the Outfit toward more political involvement in Chicago, the overall mood in my city was to stick to our traditions even more than ever. The Traditionalists were growing stronger again, asking to make bloody statements that would put the Bratva and our other enemies in place. Father and I needed to decide whether we’d do that in Minneapolis and possibly risk the death of more soldiers for a limited time. I knew the pressure on Danilo and Cincinatti was even higher, considering their territories bordered Famiglia territory. Nights like this had become the standard. Would a harder line condemn more young men to their deaths? My gaze found the photo of Domenico, Arlo, and Enea.

Emma followed my gaze. “I want to help you, Samuel.”

I didn’t react.

“I’m a good listener.”

“I don’t want to talk,” I clipped.

Emma stopped right beside me. “Please let me help you, Samuel.”

My fingers around the glass tightened. “You can’t help me, so stop trying.” My words were harsher than intended.

Emma didn’t seem bothered by my tone. She simply nodded, but she still didn’t leave. “Then let me take care of you.”

I wasn’t sure what she meant until she arrested the brakes of her wheelchair and set down her bare feet on the floor. Grippingmy knees for support, she pushed forward, then slid to her knees before me. I sat up abruptly and grasped her frail wrists in one of mine to stop her hands from reaching for my zipper. “What are you doing?” I rasped. I’d dreamed about this, but I hadn’t expected Emma to make the first move.

“I’m going to take care of you.” Her fingers trembled slightly as she gripped my zipper. “Or don’t you want me to?” The last part was said with a teasing smile that sent more blood down into my cock.

“I don’t want you to,” I said, but that wasn’t true. The idea of Emma giving me a blow job had crossed my mind repeatedly.

She raised her eyebrows, detecting the lie. Emma could read me better than many others. Maybe it was a good thing in a marriage, but it also made it harder to hide all the baggage I was carrying.

I shook my head with a sardonic smile, then I sighed. “I wasn’t sure you wanted it. Are you sure?”

She narrowed her eyes, and I could tell how angry my words made her, which surprised me. I thought she might be grateful for my consideration. I knew some women didn’t like giving head, and Emma was still very inexperienced.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

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