Page 89 of Forever Then

I rock into her and she writhes to meet my every move.

Her hands coast up, down and all over me. Pushing into the neck of my shirt, weaving underneath my suit jacket. Every touch traces an exquisitely torturous path over my body—sparks, electricity, a raging inferno at every point of contact between us.

God, the amount of times I imagined being able to touch her like this, to kiss her, to feel her body against mine—it’s so much better.

In a world with no sordid pasts, no big brothers, no brokenpromises, there wouldn’t be anyone else—it would be Gretchen and only Gretchen. Forever.

But that’s not reality.

Gretchen flattens a palm against my chest before slowly lowering it over my torso. She grazes past my belt until she’s gripping me through my pants. A groan rushes out of me—it’s everything my body wants. My senses overload as awareness rushes in all around me.

Drew. Wedding reception. Promises made. Promises broken.

I peel my lips from hers and drop my head to the crook of her neck. After a few ragged breaths, I push myself off the wall, stepping out of her reach.

Heaven help me, I’m too much of a coward to even look at her. I’ve done it again. I’ve messed everything up.

“I’m…I’m sorry.” I run a hand through my hair. “That was a mistake.”

“What?” she rushes out, lungs panting.

“I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

If I allow myself a moment to second guess it, I will. A jagged-edged boulder of regret lodges in my throat as I turn and walk away. With every step, my heart thumps to the rhythm of the music pulsing through the wall. Every beat screams for me to go back to her.

*thump…it’s her.

*thump…she’s the one.

*thump…don’t let her go.

I don’t go back.

I return to the reception in time to carry out my best man duties for the garter toss. What kind of best friend would I be if I didn’t participate?

The best man who takes advantage of the groom’s sister on the other side of this very wall, that’s who.

I don’t see Gretchen for the rest of the night.

When I return to the hotel the next morning for the send-off brunch, it’s only to see her. I know I messed everything up, but I promised I’d take her to Mullins Book Collectors today. Though Idon’t have a great track record in the promises department, I’m hell bent on keeping this one. It’s the least I can do for what I put her through yesterday.

Only, she’s not there.

Her parents tell me she ducked out of the reception early last night because she felt sick. And this morning, before the sun came up, she told them she planned to get an early start and begin the drive back to school today instead of tomorrow.

The person that’s come to mean the most to me in this world is in a car driving a thousand miles in the opposite direction and it’s all my fault.

I start to text her, but my fingers won’t move. Shame and guilt consume me whole. I played whiplash with her sensitive heart. I stirred up ghosts from her past. I played right into the caricature of how Drew sees me.

My best friend was right—guys like me don’t get chances with girls like her. And they sure as hell don’t get second chances.

Chapter Thirty-Two

I’LL KEEP TALKING

Connor

The airin the hotel room settles heavy and tense as Gretchen waits for me to begin.

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