Page 98 of Cross Checking

“Luke.” My voice is firm. “You’ve been at your job for a year and now you’re talking about going on leave for the same amount of time. That’s…”Suicide is a harsh word.“… going to set you back.”

He clasps his hands together and rests his forehead on his fingertips. “Do younotwant me to move?”

“I want you here so fucking bad,” I say quickly, and Luke’s posture softens a little. “But you shouldn’t give up your job without anything lined up. It’s too early for you to gamble with something like your career.”

Luke drags his face down behind his palms and grips his hair. “I know that. I’m just so fucking lonely here.”

While I’d suspected that, hearing Luke vocalize it so directly makes my heart break for him.

“And it’s not for lack of trying, either,” he continues. “Nobody talks to anyone in this city, especially in the dead of winter.”

God, that’sbrutal. I used to be surprised to find out that someone with Luke-level charisma has a hard time making friends, but even Nils admits he’d be alone if it wasn’t for the team. It’s rough everywhere, I guess.

“Jesus, I need a change of scenery. Trying to meet people here is exhausting as hell,” he says.

I huff, which makes Luke’s head jerk up on my screen. “And you think it’s any better in Stockholm? Toronto is a beacon of extroversion compared to here, where half the damn country makes friends in daycare and sticks with the same five people for the rest of their lives.”

“Well, what about the other half?”

“The other half still speaks Swedish. By coming here, you’d essentially limit your social life to me, my limited number of friends, and immigrants from other English-speaking countries who often move back home within a year or two.”

Luke, defeated, walks from his office into the living room and flops down on the sofa.

“You got any more honesty for me?” he asks. I’ve known Luke for enough time to catch on to his sarcasm. “Sorry, I’m being snarky, but I want to hear it. I trust you to give it to me straight up.”

I hesitate for a short moment. “Limiting your social life to me would be unhealthy, and that’s putting it lightly.”

He replies immediately. “I know. I don’t want that for me, and I don’t want to impose that on you.” There’s a beat of silence,and Luke’s face falls even more. “None of that changes the fact that I miss you.”

“I miss you too. I crave you all the damn time, and even though it might sound like I’m listing off reasons for you not to move, I want you here with me.” Pausing to let out a breath, I pinch the bridge of my nose. “But missing each other isn’t a good enough reason to be hasty.”

“Yeah, I understand. It’s why I’m only throwing it out there as an option. Like a backup plan.”

“It shouldn’t be on the cards. You’re so smart and talented. You’re the most career-stable twenty-two-year-old I know, and you shouldn’t think about throwing that away.”

Luke stares back at me through the camera, silent and expressionless. “Anyway,” he says, standing up. “You have a flight to catch tomorrow. You should go and pack.”

Sheesh. That’s abrupt.

Luke’s face darkens and he backpedals. “Erik, I’m not hanging up on you because I’m annoyed or anything, but this conversation wasn’t going anywhere. We could probably take some time to think or whatever. You’re right, but I still miss you tons.”

“Got it,” I say with a bit more forced cheer.

“Bye, Erik. Safe travels.”

“Thanks.”

We could probably take some time to think or whatever.

That doesn’t sound like we’re working through this as a team, but I don’t know if my stance on his whole “moving to Sweden without a plan” idea is going to change.

Luke deserves the world. And not a world where he screws his career up and lives in a Stockholm apartment that’s empty for half the time.

23

LUKE

I can do this. I can put on a brave face for my parents and spend an evening at their house without spiraling. All I have to do isnotthink about how fucked my situation is with Erik and how I’m grasping at straws, trying to apply for any job that’s based out of one of our Swedish offices.

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