Page 38 of Cross Checking

Who am I kidding? There’s no way that’s gonna happen.

9

LUKE

My fingers curl around my freshly brewed latte, the heat searing into my hands, but I don’t care. I want to feel something that isn’t helpless, hopeless pining. The day is gray and rainy and dull, and my eyes remain fixed on the building across from me.

I don’t have the slightest desire to do anything else.

It’s been a week since Erik left Toronto. Still, my mood remains as dreary as the glum scene outside.

We weren’t together, but wealmostwere, and Imisshim. I liked, no, like, him way too much to forget about him this quickly.

The fact that my body fuckingcraveshim doesn’t help, either. He really was a killer combo that I had no chance against. The whole damn package of likeable, endearing, and sexy as hell.

My smart speaker chimes, which lets me know it’s time to begin work. I log on and skim my inbox before changing and combing my hair ahead of a nine-thirty meeting. Ajay, my manager, hired a new grad who’s based out of Montreal, and I’m going to lead her training for the first few weeks. In preparation, I load up my monthly reporting files so I don’t have to scramble around on the call, turn my ring light on, and test my camera.

Right on time, I shove my Erik thoughts aside and start the meeting, checking my video feed in the upper right corner to make sure I’m presentable, and then Emily joins. She introduces herself, telling me that she graduated from McGill in April, and then I do the same. It’s hard not to notice her relax ever so slightly after I reveal that I also graduated this year.

Then I relax as well. Two fresh grads don’t need to partake in too much corporate bull. I launch into my demonstration of monthly reporting, holding myself back from swearing when the software inevitably crashes on me, but we get through the training largely unscathed.

“Wow, that’s a lot to take in,” Emily says.

I let out a dry laugh. “Sure is. Luckily we only have to do it once a month.”

She tilts her head, thinking, before speaking again. “What do you do when you aren’t reporting?”

Staring blankly at the screen, it takes a while for my brain to catch up.

“Mostly changing the files so they work better?” I say. “Sorry if that isn’t helpful, I’m kind of out of it today.”

“Late night?” she asks.

“Kind of.”

Her face lights up as if I spilled some serious tea. “Oh my god, on a Thursday? That’s so chaotic.”

“Nah, not really. I was up late talking to a friend.”

Said friend: Erik. He went on a run early in the morning, which was midnight in Toronto, and he sent me a picture of the prettiest city I’ve ever seen. Naturally, I asked to see more. That’s what friends do, right? Ask about each other’s lives?

And then he video called me, and we ended up talking until two.

Friends don’t do that.

Yeah, I’m screwed. Do I care? Less than I thought I would, but missing Erik is taking up most of my brain power.

“Anyway,” Emily says, bringing my attention back to the meeting. “I messaged the team chat about an hour ago and nobody read it. Do you know if that’s a problem on my end?”

“No, I don’t think so.” I check the chat and confirm that her message came through. “Nobody else is online yet, so that’s probably why nobody reacted.”

“No one’s online? It’s almost ten-thirty.”

“Yeah, reporting ended yesterday, though, so everyone usually takes an unofficial day off.”

Emily and I make some more small talk before signing off, and I lean back in my chair. With nothing to distract me, my mind wanders back to Erik and how much I miss the guy.

I shake my head. These lingering feelings are way too inconvenient. Not that I have anything to do at work right now, but there’s no way being in a funk is healthy.

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