Page 90 of The Boathouse By the Loch

Now, seeing her stepmum, whom she did not recognise, shedesperately wanted them to come flooding back. She’d thought that perhaps her old diary might have helped together with the hypnotherapy sessions. She’d spent ages going through the diary entries, scrutinising the sketches she’d made as a teenager. Then she’d discovered something she’d missed – the wordstepmumalongside a rather unflattering sketch of a woman, and a further entry scribbled in faint pencil:wish she was dead, instead of my mum.

Robyn wondered if that was why she hadn’t used any of the money from the cheques her stepmum had sent her so that she could join her abroad for a holiday. She assumed that they just didn’t get on. Robyn understood; she imagined that she’d never accepted her late father remarrying. But that wasn’t Judith’s fault. She’d obviously gone to some lengths, sending money for Robyn to join her abroad, but Robyn had not reciprocated the effort.

Robyn looked at Judith – the only family she had, as far as she was aware – and thought that it was time to change that. She was a grown-up now, not a sulky teenager who wouldn’t accept her father remarrying. Robyn wanted to put all that behind her and make this relationship work. She’d put on her favourite outfit, a knee-length, fitted sleeveless dress in a light green colour with a delicate rose pattern. The dress matched her sandals. She also wore a light green cardigan.

Robyn had spent an afternoon, after one of her therapy sessions, meeting up with Gayle to go shopping for the dress. She’d wanted to look her best for her stepmum’s arrival, to make a good first impression, almost as if to say,look – my life is on track, and I’ve made the right decision to give up university. Gayle had cut and styled her hair and had asked her if she wanted to dye it blonde again. Robyn had decided against it. She might notrecognise Judith, but she didn’t want to make such a drastic change to her appearance that Judith might not immediately recognise her.

Robyn smoothed down her dress and took a deep breath. She could see Judith chatting to David, her eyes darting about, looking for her.

Robyn, feeling absurdly nervous, forced herself to put one foot in front of the other and walk the few paces towards them. She stopped beside David and said, ‘Hello—’ Robyn halted abruptly realising she couldn’t remember – did she call hermumorJudith?

‘Ah, there you are, Robyn.’ David put her arm around Robyn’s waist and smiled at her.

‘What the …?’ Judith said in surprise, not taking her eyes from Robyn.

Robyn shifted uncomfortably. ‘What is it?’

‘What have you done with my stepdaughter?’

‘Pardon?’ David said. ‘Yourstepdaughter?’

Robyn pursed her lips wishing she’d told him. She mumbled, ‘Sorry, David, I didn’t tell you she’s my stepmum,’ before turning to Judith. What did she mean –what have you done with my stepdaughter?

‘I’m right here,’ replied Robyn, thinking it was lucky she hadn’t dyed her hair. ‘Do I look so different?’

Judith studied her intently. Robyn felt shy under her gaze. Judith finally said, ‘Where’s the little girl with the long, matted hair, those black clothes with heavy boots, and the thick eye liner that made her look like a goth?’

Robyn smiled, pleased by Judith’s reaction, realising that she must look quite different to the grungy student Judith had left at university before she went on her travels. Robyn recalled thoseclothes in her suitcase that she had found, but that she had hated. It made her wonder if losing her memory had changed her somehow. She wouldn’t be seen dead in those clothes. Or maybe it was something else …

‘I think maybe I grew up these past few months,’ said Robyn. Her life had certainly changed –she had gone from being a student to running a business. She was in a serious relationship. She had a home. Yes, Robyn concluded, she’d matured. She’d changed. And Judith could see that.

‘Wow!’ Judith stared at her. ‘I go away leaving behind a stepdaughter who still acts and looks like a teenager, and I come back to a beautiful, sophisticated woman.’

Robyn looked down at the outfit she had spent ages choosing to wear to welcome her stepmother home. When she looked up, there were tears rolling down Judith’s face. ‘I didn’t expect this. It’s a bit of a shock.’

‘Oh, Mum – don’t cry.’ Robyn said, stepping forward to give her stepmother a hug while wiping a tear from her own face. ‘Can I call you Mum?’

Judith looked taken aback. ‘Oh, er … yes, I suppose.’

Robyn put her arms around her. ‘I’m so glad you’re home.’

‘Your hair, Robyn – you’ve had it cut.’

Robyn nervously fiddled with her shoulder-length hair.

‘You know, I haven’t had a decent haircut since I’ve been away. Guess I didn’t really need to bother, what with wearing hats all the time.’

Robyn said brightly, ‘I can recommend a great hairstylist. She’s also a good friend. She used to do some mobile hairdressing but now runs a guesthouse, so she only cuts hair for friends and family now.’

‘Where you had yours done?’ Judith asked, appraising Robyn’s haircut as they walked towards the exit.

Robyn smiled. ‘Yes.’ She glanced over her shoulder at David, who was following behind, carrying Judith’s suitcase.

Judith caught sight of her appearance in a mirror as they passed a beauty counter. She stopped and stared at her reflection. Robyn looked into the mirror too, staring at her stepmother beside her. Judith was taller than her, with blue eyes and blonde hair, which Robyn guessed was her natural colour. But her blonde bob was dry and frizzy. It had obviously seen too much sun.

Robyn caught Judith looking at her in the mirror strangely, an expression on her face Robyn couldn’t quite read. For a split second, Judith’s ready smile was no more.

Judith turned to her, the beaming smile back. ‘You said it was a friend of yours that did your hair?’

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