Page 24 of The Boathouse By the Loch

Chapter 9

‘Jake – are you still there?’

If only he’d listened to Ellie at Christmas.But I wasn’t listening, was I?he thought.I didn’t hear her unhappiness. I didn’t see her need for me to put her first over the family, over the company.

He had thought he’d done that already by choosing to be based in London. But he hadn’t considered how she must have felt about being pregnant when she’d thought it was never going to happen.

Jake didn’t think badly of her when he thought about her not being overjoyed at the news. She’d just needed time to figure out how she was going to balance doing what she wanted for herself with being a mother, and perhaps figure out what she wanted for them as a family.

Jake said bitterly. ‘It never occurred to me that she might want us to make a life for ourselves independently of the family business.’

He’d chosen to stay in London, but for how long would it have lasted? As much as he had wanted to plan a life around staying in London with Eleanor and the baby, the reality was that it mightnot have been possible in the long run. The company always came first, and he didn’t know what that would have meant for their future.

‘Is that what she said?’

‘Not in so many words.’ But Jake knew his wife. There had been things going on with her at Christmas. He was back to wishing that he hadn’t been so hellbent on sticking to their normal routine and spending Christmas with the Rosses in the Cairngorms. In hindsight, it felt like it had been a test – would he put her or the family first? He’d failed, and the cost had been—

Suddenly Jake wished he wasn’t having this conversation over the phone.Why didn’t I just get on that plane with Marcus?he thought. Then he could be telling Faye this in person. He stared up out of the attic window, up at the Cairngorms.

Jake had had many months to dwell on the events surrounding that fateful Christmas Day. He had eventually arrived at the real crux of the matter. ‘I realise now that she wanted us to stay together in London. Not just over Christmas; she was asking for something more. She was asking me not to make her choose.’

Jake took a deep breath and confided, ‘She would have left me, Faye. One way or another, I would have lost her, because she knew I could never walk out on Marcus, William or the company.’ The irony wasn’t lost on Jake that he had ended up doing just that.

‘I think she needed to pursue her own career without the shadow of her father’s company bearing down on her and squashingher personal achievements.’ Jake thought of the abandoned doll’s house in the basement of his house. ‘It just never occurred to me until it was too late.’

‘Too late?’ Faye halted. ‘But she’s alive – isn’t she?’

Jake said, ‘Yes,’ in a small voice. ‘I just wished she hadn’t pulledone last surprise,’ he mumbled.

‘Everyone in school assumed you were a widower.’

Jake heaved a sigh. ‘I know. I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be!’ Faye quickly replied. ‘You don’t have to apologise.’

‘What the Rosses wanted, what I wanted, was to keep the press out of our personal affairs, away from Eleanor, and her … recovery.’

‘Recovery? Does that mean you’ll leave teaching and go back to working for the Rosses? No, wait – you thought that was not what she wanted; that she wanted you to leave the corporation. Is that true? What did she say about that? Perhaps she’ll be okay with you teaching in London. Perhaps she’ll open her shop here?’

‘Oh, Faye. If only that were true.’

‘Which part? You staying in teaching or her opening her shop?’ Faye paused and said in a small voice. ‘I thought she’d died after that accident. I thought you were … single.’

‘She did. I am.’

‘What? Jake – what are you talking about? You said you’re not a widower, and she’s recovering. I don’t understand …’

Recovery. Jake realised that was the wrong word. ‘She’s not—’ Jake halted. How could he explain? He hadn’t seen her himself. In all these months, he hadn’t visited. But he didn’t have to. How could he forget what the doctors had told them?

‘She’s never going to be what she once was.’

‘Oh, Jake. People change, and when you’ve had an accident, it’s bound to take time to—’

‘No. You don’t understand. She’s gone, Faye. She may recover physically, but—’ Jake thought of the doll’s house Eleanor had once loved in the basement of the house. She’d never design anything now. All she would be able to do was to play with it likea three-year-old. Jake suddenly had a thought. Perhaps when he visited, he’d organise having it shipped so she could.

‘Oh, Jake.’ Faye interrupted his thoughts. ‘I’m so sorry. I had no idea …’

‘No, neither does anyone else, apart from close family.’Close family.Jake scoffed. So close, that none of them, including himself, had visited her in all these months. Well, he was resolved to change that. As soon as he returned to London.

---