The motel she’s staying in isn’t too far, and after breaking the speed limit, I’m banging on the motel room door, just over ten minutes after she hung up on me.
The door flies open, and a tiny girl with a blonde head of hair launches herself at me. I have just enough time to catch her as she throws her arms around me, clutching onto me tightly. A small sob leaves her, and my heart breaks.
I carry her into the motel room, kicking the door closed behind us, while she sobs on my shoulder. She doesn’t even ease her hold on me when I sit on the bed. She just shuffles around until she’s sitting on my knee, still clutching me tightly.
It’s been a long time since my twelve-year-old sister hugged me like this, and my heart breaks when it hits me just how much I’ve missed her. It’s not lost on me that there’s a lot she’s been keeping from me, and I need to put that right straight away.
I give Courtney a few minutes to calm down, and as her sobs turn to quiet tears, I rub her back reassuringly, pressing soft kisses to her temple. When her breathing returns to normal, I pull her back enough to see her tear-stained, blotchy face.
At first, she tries to keep her face tucked into my shoulder, but as I ease her back some more, it becomes clear what she was trying to hide. There’s a very large black and purple bruise covering the left side of her cheek, and her eye looks to be painfully swollen. She’s got a cut to her lip, and one above her temple.
I take a deep breath that comes out as a sigh, while I try to keep control of the rage thrumming through my veins. Every muscle is twitching with the urge to kill whoever laid a hand on my sister.
As I take the time to get control over my emotions, I finally take a proper look at my sister, who I’ve not seen for three years. She’s always been small, but now she’s so thin, she looks unwell. Her eyes have an almost sunken quality, and she’s unbelievably pale.
Her bright-blonde hair, that she’s always taken so much pride in, looks greasy and straggly, like she stopped taking care of it. In fact, everything about her screams lack of self-care.
When I left, she was just showing an interest in make-up, and was growing into a young woman. She always took pride in what she wore and how she looked. The girl sitting on my knee, in baggy sweats and a dirty, too-large T-shirt, is the complete opposite. And for the millionth time since I arrived back in Blackthorn, I can’t help but wonder what the fuck I’ve missed over the last three years.
“Court, you have to tell me what’s going on. My brain is going to the worst-case scenario right now, and it’s killing me,” I explain calmly, hoping it will be enough to get her to tell me everything.
I can still feel her little body trembling in my arms, even though she’s stopped crying. Whatever has happened, she’s scared, and I hate myself for not being here, to protect her when she needed me. And she clearly has needed me.
Why the fuck didn’t she call me?I would have dropped everything and been here in a fucking heartbeat if she’d just asked, which is probably why she didn’t.
Despite the nine-year age gap, Courtney and I have always been close, and it kills me that she cared about me so much, she didn’t want to worry me with this.
She takes a few shuddered breaths, as though she’s trying to steal her nerves, whilst keeping her gaze anywhere except meeting mine. “I’ve been lying to you. Things haven’t been good at home for a while.”
With my hands on her shoulders, I gently push her back just a little more, until she’s got no choice except to make eye contact with me. “I’m going to need you to explain.”
She lets out a sigh as she slowly climbs off my lap, running her hands through her limp hair. “When you first left, I thought things were going to be fine. Mum was in a good routine; she was taking care of me and going to work regularly. She was taking her meds, and things were normal… Until they weren’t.”
She pauses, her eyes scrunched shut as she slowly lowers herself to sit in the tatty looking armchair opposite me. I say nothing, choosing to give her the time she needs to tell her story, even though the nerves are killing me.
“I don’t really know what happened, but about five months after you left, I started to notice she was falling back into old habits. She stopped taking her medication, and started drinking more than she should, but even that was manageable,” she explains, getting more choked up the longer she speaks.
“What changed?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“She met Bruce.”
His name comes out as a hiss, like she’s never spoken a more disgusting word, and my stomach grinds, acid filling my throat as my worst-case scenarios flash into my mind.
“I’m sure I’m going to regret asking this, but who the fuck is Bruce?”
When Courtney opens her eyes, they’re glistening with unshed tears, and I’m suddenly hit with how young and vulnerable my little sister looks, and my heart breaks all fucking over again.
“I don’t know how they met, but in true Mum fashion, things progressed quickly. He moved in after only two weeks of them knowing each other. At first, he was friendly enough, if not a little creepy, but as with all of Mum’s ‘friends’, he changed when alcohol was involved.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “Are you trying to tell me Mum has been living with a man for nearly two and a half years, and neither of you told me?” I don’t mean for my question to come out so harshly, but I can’t help it.
“Mum didn’t tell you because she knew you’d never have allowed him to move in so quickly, and I kept quiet because I was worried you’d come home. You’ve spent your whole life looking after me. Going to university was a chance for you to do something just for you. I didn’t want to ruin that.”
I watch as a lone tear trails slowly down her flushed cheek, and I don’t even hesitate. I jump up from where I’m sitting and move over to her, kneeling down on the somewhat icky-looking carpet in front of her. I reach out and take her hand, squeezing it reassuringly until she lifts her gaze up to meet mine.
“I’m your big brother. It’s my job to look out for you. I would never have put university in front of that,” I tell her vehemently, meaning every word.
Courtney gives me a small, tight smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I know, and that’s why I didn’t say anything. I was protecting you, for once. You deserve a chance at a normal life.”