Page 24 of Mutual Obsession

My body responds how I’d expect it to, heating my core, making me crave more of his touch. As my pussy throbs, dark thoughts threaten to creep in, reminding me of the past, but instead of letting them drown me, I use Miles’ light to push them away.

When we finally pull apart, both gasping for breath, Miles has the biggest grin on his face. He looks like he’s won the damn lottery, and I can’t help but chuckle. He has this incredible ability to make me feel like so much more than I am.

Although I’m a little shy to admit it, I can’t stop the words from tumbling out. “I didn’t know it could feel like that, did you?”

Wow, could I have sounded any more young and inexperienced?

Miles lifts his hand to my cheek once more, and I lean into his warm touch. “It only does if it’s with the right person.”

There’s a moment of silence after he says that, almost like there’s sadness seeping in to what should’ve been a happy statement, but then it’s gone so quickly, I don’t have time to think anymore about it.

“I guess you must be the right person then,” I tell him, though my voice sounds slightly more unsure than I feel.

“You sound surprised?” Of course, Miles would pick up on it, and I take a breath while I decide how best to answer.

“I wasn’t really expecting this right now, or ever, if I’m being honest. I didn’t think I’d ever find someone I felt this way about,” I tell him, hoping he doesn’t ask me to elaborate on the parts I’ve left out.

Like the fact I didn’t think I was capable of liking someone after everything I’ve been through. Or that falling for someone would be unfair, given that I’m going to have to leave soon, no matter how I feel.

Miles nods, like he understands everything that’s unsaid. “Sometimes, when you’re not looking, when you least expect it, that’s when it finds you.”

Sounding more than a little insecure, I ask, “Are you okay with it, if you weren’t looking for this?”

Miles chuckles as he pulls me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me, passing all his warmth to me as he hugs me tight. “It’s the best kind of surprise. I’m really glad I met you, Dee. I really like you, and I want to keep dating you, if you’ll have me?”

I don’t know when they even formed, but before I know it, tears are rolling down my cheeks, and an uneasy feeling sits heavily in my stomach as I nod.

I’m very aware that getting in deeper with Miles is wrong, and it’ll only end in heartbreak for us both, but I can’t bringmyself to walk away. I’ve never had anything good in my life that was just mine. I’ve also never had anyone who truly cares about me. Knowing I have that with Miles, it’s hard to walk away from, even if I know it’s the right thing to do.

I feel like shit as the words tumble from my lips. “I’d like that, If you’ll have me?”

Miles’ bright smile only makes me feel more guilty. He uses his thumb to wipe away the tears, and I can only assume he thinks they’re from happiness, as he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he presses his lips against mine for another searing kiss that I feel all the way down to my toes.

I hate that Miles can never know the truth about who I am, or why I’m always running. He has no idea that the countdown to the end of our relationship started before it had even begun.

More than anything, I hate knowing that my feelings for Miles will only get stronger, since I can’t seem to stay away from him, and that’s most likely the case for him, too. We’re both getting in deeper, and I’m letting us, despite knowing it’s going nowhere.

Our only future is heartbreak and pain, yet I still can’t do the right thing and walk away. Miles is the light in my darkness, and I want to hold on to that for as long as I can, because when reality hits, and I hurt him, he’ll never forgive me. My world will be permanently dark without him.

After punching Miles, I can’t get the uneasy feeling to go away, and it has me on edge. We’re used to arguing, but we’ve never come to blows like that, and even though he deserved it, I regret my actions.

I’m ashamed that I let my anger get the better of me, but I couldn’t help myself when he made that thinly-veiled dig at our past.

Indie hasn’t mentioned anything since, and despite initially wanting to go home, she agreed to continue on with our day as planned. It’s like we’ve both silently agreed to push what happened to the side for the moment, and I couldn’t be more pleased.

After what just happened, our day of fun is more needed than ever before. Although the car ride is quieter than I would have liked, I still have high hopes that the day can be salvaged when Indie finds out where we’re going.

The whole time we’re in the car, no matter how much I try to block it out, I can’t help replaying Miles’ hateful words and the way he looked at me. I wonder if Indie is doing the same, trying to work out the hidden meaning behind what he said.

I’ve known Miles for most of my life, and I’ve seen him at his worst, but today I saw a side of him I’ve never encountered before. Although he has a tendency to be sarcastic at times, he’s never cruel.

Usually, Miles is kind, caring, and gentle. He has a ruthless side when needed, but he’s never been this full of hate. A small, jealous part of me—that I try very hard to ignore—reminds me he must’ve loved Indie very much, for her to have this much power over him, to hurt him this badly.

That thought guts me more than I’d like to admit. I didn’t even know about Indie, as she happened during a time when Miles and I weren’t really talking, so I never got to see him in love.

Part of me is grateful for that, as I’m not sure how I would have handled it. Seeing Miles in love would likely have pushed me over the edge much quicker than I got there on my own.

I know I have no right to think like that, as I’m the one who pushed him away, but now that my mind isn’t addled by substances, I can no longer ignore my feelings. I made a lot of mistakes in the past, and now I’m no longer hiding behind my addiction, I have to deal with the fallout.

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