Page 51 of Beautiful Broken Love

“Deke, honey, how are you?” My mother’s voice was loud and vibrant. “I haven’t heard from you in a while. Everything okay?”

I shoveled some brown rice into my mouth and garbled out, “Everything’s fine.”

“You sure? It isn’t like you tonotcall me at least once a week. I mean, I would call you, but I know you’ve been busy.”

“Yeah, it’s fine, Ma. I have been busy. It’s why I haven’t been able to call.”

“Hmm.” It was a noise of disapproval, which meant she had more to say and I needed to coax it out of her.

I stood up from the barstool and walked toward the window with a sigh. “What’s up, Mama?”

“Well, it’s just that Camille told me you were at her house, and I recalled you saying you were going to stop by, but you never did. It would’ve been nice to see my son while he was in town.”

“I had to get back for training.”

“Declan. Do not lie to me,” she countered, her voice stern.

I sighed and walked to the couch to sit. Zeke sat up on his pillow and cocked his head at me. “Camille told me she saw your ex-husband at your house.”

“Oh, good Lord,” she muttered.

“That’s why I didn’t go. Because if I would’ve swung by and he was there, I’m positive I would’ve lost my cool. And the reason I haven’t called you is because I’m not good at faking how I feel about him, like my sisters can, and I didn’t want to ruin your mood.”

“Deke, baby. That situation is not what you think it is.”

“No? So why was he there, Ma?”

“Look, I ran into him at the grocery store a few days before that and invited him to come over. He’d asked me to join him for lunch one day, but I turned it down. I felt guilty seeing him at the store, all run down and tired looking, so I invited him over. He comes around every couple of days or so to make little repairs around the house and to catch up. That’s all.”

“Oh, is that all? You sure?”

“Declan, I know you don’t want to believe it, but heischanging, okay? Holding on to a grudge like this will only make you bitter.”

“Ma, you know I don’t like when you call me by my real name.”

“I don’t care! That’s the name I gave you and the name on your birth certificate. You have to get over what happened,Declan! You have to let it go! He can’t do those things to you anymore!”

I shot off the couch. “Get over what happened? Ma, he was literally beating your ass and mine every day until he got arrested!”

“Don’t you curse at me,” she scolded. If she were with me in person, she’d probably have slapped me upside the head.

I closed my eyes for a moment, breathing in through my nostrils and then exhaling. “Listen, I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry. You may have forgiven him, Mama, but I can’t. So if you decide to get closer to him or to let him back in, I won’t act like I’m okay with it and I won’t come by the house.”

“You pay for this house, Deke. You’re allowed to come whenever you want.”

I ignored her. “Just promise me you won’t let him move back in.”

She was quiet a moment, but I could hear her sighing. “You know I wouldn’t allow that, but he’s changed, son. He’s not the same man he was all those years ago.”

“People don’t change, Ma. They just fake it until the people around them believe they have.Hetaught me that.”

“Declan, I love you, okay? And I’m not getting back with your father, but you have to remember that regardless of what he’s done, heisthe father ofallof my children. I was married to him fortwenty-oneyears, and all those years weren’t bad. All that time doesn’t just go away, you know? All we’re doing is catching up. Being human. That’s it. It’s okay to show a little grace sometimes.”

“Yeah, well, you do you, Ma. I gotta go. I love you.” Then I tapped the phone to hang up before she could call my name to stop me.

TWENTY-EIGHT

DAVINA

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