Page 24 of Beautiful Broken Love

Oh yeah. It was a full bottle, wasn’t it? I hadn’t drunk in months, but I went to the market last night and collected a bottle of my favorite red wine. I downed the whole thing like it was water. I wanted to avoid the emotion—to fight the ache. It didn’t help much.

I groaned on my way to the bathroom. When I shut the door behind me, I faced the mirror. I looked horrible. Absolutelyhorrible. My hair was sticking up all over the place and appeared matted in some areas. My skin was chalky and dry from so many tears, and my lips were chapped.

I dragged my hands down the length of my face before planting them on the countertop. I lowered my head, letting my eyes close for a second before drawing in a breath, exhaling, and opening them again.

My gaze flickered over the counter to Lew’s favorite hair pomade that Istilldidn’t have the balls to move or throw away. Some mornings, I liked to open it and smell it.

We used to spend so many mornings in this bathroom getting ready together. He’d be doing his weekly shave, and I’d be popping an earring in or applying makeup. We’d always been in each other’s way without fully being in the way, and I’d loved it. I would’ve givenanythingto have those days back.

I stood up straight and swiped at my eyes, turning for the shower to start it. But the shower was just another reminder of what we had. All the laughter, the making out, thesex.

I washed up and tossed a cotton robe on. I tied it at the waist, moisturized as much of my body as I could stand before my head started spinning, then left the bathroom.

Octavia was in the kitchen, scrambling eggs while bacon sizzled in a skillet. She peered over her shoulder when she heard me coming and said, “There she is! Don’t you feel better?”

“Don’t even.” I noticed a burst of color in my peripheral and turned my attention to the dining table. There was a large bouquet of pink, white, and yellow tulips with white carnations hugging them from the outside.

Tulips weren’t a common flower I’d received. Most people sent white roses and lilies—even gardenias. Buttulips? That was different.

“I didn’t check, but who do you think those are from?” Octavia asked over her shoulder.

“I’m not sure,” I murmured, unable to take my eyes off the flowers. I spotted a white card on a pick in the center of the bouquet and plucked it off.

My first name was printed on the thick cream envelope. I flipped it open, took out the card, and read it.

Davina,

I am so sorry that I’m just now finding out about your loss. I know we just met, and I’m several months late, but I hope these flowers make up for my lack of awareness and can bring some light to your day. Here if you need me.

Deke

“Oh.Wow.”

Deke’s name was the last one I expected. He must’ve heard about Lew through Arnold. Tish did tell me she was going to reach out to him first about rescheduling the party to make sure Deke’s schedule aligned.

“What?” Octavia set a plate down on the glass table. “Who is it from?”

“Um ...” I read Deke’s name again, waiting to see if it’d transform to someone else’s, but nope. It was his. “Just a colleague.” I sat as Octavia went back to the kitchen, murmuring the wordsorange juice.

I couldn’t stop staring at the flowers. They were gorgeous, and on this gloomy day, they truly had brought a little light. But it wasn’t the beauty of the flowers that had me so surprised to see them. It was the significance.

I’d mentioned tulips being my favorite flower at the photo shoot a few weeks prior. I couldn’t believe he remembered such a small detail about me—something so minuscule during a mindless conversation.

I picked up my fork and smiled.

THIRTEEN

DAVINA

After my sister had forced me to get dressed and grocery shop with her, we decided to sit on the deck, with the string lights glowing.

It’d rained earlier, and the weather had dropped to a cool seventy degrees, which was a nice reprieve from the blazing-hot start of summer.

I cozied up on one of the upholstered outdoor seats with a glass of wine as I inhaled the fresh, damp air. We’d had dinner, and I helped myself to two glasses. Hell, I’d already guzzled down a whole bottle the night before. I didn’t see the point in stopping now.So much for that lifestyle change.

I mean, technically, we were celebrating Lewis’s birthday. We even bought cupcakes again, so that made it an occasion.

The reason I changed my drinking habits was because everything had changed after Lewis’s diagnosis. I’d been so strong for him when he cried, lost his hair, and lived in pain. But behind every strong person is an even stronger vice. Mine was wine.

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