Page 68 of The Lies Always Told

“Mm-hmm. A code yellow is like a warning. Stay put, don’t wander. Sometimes, it might be because of something dangerous nearby, and sometimes, it’s just to offer privacy, like if someone had an accident and we had to call an ambulance. A red is an imminent threat. We have to shelter in place. We all have hard corners in every room, which is the safest place to be in case of an active assailant, and we just stay there untilwe’re cleared. It’s scary as shit. If you thought it was scary thinking about it as an adult, imagine for the kids…except we’ve trained them to accept code reds as a natural thing. We’ve trained them to accept them as their normal so they just follow the motions naturally, as if it’s not a big deal.”

“That’s the whole point, right? Like in case it is real, they have muscle memory to fall into,” Victoria continues.

“Yup, but it’s so sad that’s our reality.” They both nod. Bee looks at her watch and gets up quickly.

“No wonder you’re all sad and mopey. Oh shit, I gotta go. My sister has an event tonight, and I’m going to be late if I don’t leave now.”

“Bye!” Victoria waves from the video call and hangs up. I give Bee a hug, and after a kiss on my cheek, she leaves me here. Alone. In the silence.

My phone vibrates on my nightstand stand, and when I look at it, I have two text messages waiting for me.

DLS:

Can we talk?

DLS:

It doesn’t have to be tonight, but soon? Please.

I want to be mean and bitchy and leave him on read, but I also want to know what’s going on with him.

Me:

What do you want?

DLS:

For you to give me a chance to talk to you

Me:

you had a chance and you blew it.

DLS:

I know, and I’m sorry.

DLS:

Please, Nellie.

I lock my phone and slam it on the table. This infuriating man. If I continue answering his messages, this will turn into me forgiving him like nothing happened, and I don’t think I can. I can’t just look past the lies and the secrets. The cold and the hot. The with me one day and not being there the next.

This time, I leave him on read.

TWENTY-ONE

DEEP END

Deep Endby Birdie

Nellie

School was normal,just another day, but I didn’t feelnormal.I felt restless, so I drove. I drove to the place where I feel the most like myself without driving for hours to the cabin. It seemed like it took both forever and not long enough at the same time to get to Amelia Island, where I swam today. The pool wasn’t going to cut it. I needed the ocean, so I took the hour drive. Neither the swim nor the drive were long enough to calm me down. Not long enough to forget about the fact that I’m hung up on Gus like a teenager, and I need to get over it or forgive him. So, I swam. I swam for about an hour, and now, I’m sitting on top of my beach towel, air drying but not ready to go home yet.

Me:

Facetime, anyone?

---