Page 1 of The Lies Always Told

PROLOGUE

Nellie

My dadalways said that tragedy comes in threes. I never understood what he meant by that until now. I didn’t understand it until I was the one drowning, with the first taste of salt creeping into my mouth and my lungs filling with the cold, sharp sting of ocean water. Except it wasn’t water taking me under—it was the entire world that crashed around me, pulling me under and twisting me until there was barely anything left.

He used to talk about the harmful trifecta, and I always thought he meant the painful things children fear—getting lost, hunger, loss, death—but I was wrong. I never knew the hunger I should have feared had nothing to do with food. I didn’t know loss and pain could be so deep, it would leave a wound that would never close, that death doesn’t only come when a life is lost. Sometimes, it takes a soul as it slowly slips away. You can be alive but not living, and that was part of it all too.

I didn’t know tragedy wasn’t only something that struckyou from the outside. Sometimes, it’s something buried deep inside you, waiting, holding you down until you can barely breathe. I didn’t know that when that wave hit, it would feel like a rush, a storm of adrenaline, confusing my brain and making my heart feel excitement as opposed to the panic I should’ve felt instead.

The first wave came, and I was swept up in the force of it all. I didn’t notice the warning signs until it was too late. The second wave came too fast. It was too cold, too powerful. I was drowning with no way back.

Then came the silence, an eerie calm that followed the chaos, an uncanny quiet that mimicked peace. It mimicked a reprieve, but it wasn’t. It was hollow, suffocating. It didn’t heal, it wounded. It drew from the pain I didn’t know was still there. It took from old wounds until I was caught in the undertow.

From that pain came the third wave, mixed with somebody else’s pain, making me feel more than I knew I could. I was sucked under again. I lost everything. Everything I thought I had, everything I thought I was. Everything I thought I deserved. If all I could have carried was pain, if all I could give was pain, then I must have deserved it all.

I didn’t know tragedy was this close. I didn’t know it was this intimate.

I didn’t know it could hit me.

Until, one day…it did.

PART 1

THE SHIFT

The wave pulls back, a whispered thrill,

A tidal breath, the calm, so still.

Upon retrieval, the shore reveals

A glitch in time, it’s so surreal.

ONE

EXTRA OLIVES, PLEASE

APRIL

About Damn Timeby Lizzo

Nellie

“It’s not even fair,”Victoria says, grabbing my hand and twirling me around.

“What’s not fair?” I place my hands on my hips and raise my eyebrows expectantly, waiting for her answer. This is night three of my twenty-first birthday celebration in Savannah, Georgia, and I’ve gone from morning drinking to mid-day drinking to night drinking. I’m the youngest in our group—perks of being in grad school at my age, so they’re all just happy I’m finally able to drink without worrying about my fake ID. They worry; I sure don’t.

“How hot you look in everything you wear. This little black dress will do a number on people, babe. Are you ready?”

“Fucking finally. I’ve been trying to get laid all weekend, and all of you cockblockers have fucked it up for me. Tonight, though? Tonight’s on,” I sass as I turn around and shimmy.

“We’re not cockblocking you, bitch. We’re being good friends here,” Bee says, walking into the room with her heels click-clacking.

“You think I look hot? Look at her,” I tell Victoria, pointing at Bee—shimmery silver dress fitted to her curves, sky-high heels, her blonde bob as sleek as ever.

“Also unfair, clearly. Lucky bastards, whoever gets to take the two of you home tonight,” Victoria adds, pointing at us. She says we’re both hot, but to be honest, she’s probably the hottest in this trio. She has dark eyes that stare into your soul, plump rosy cheeks, and the darkest of hair, but unlike Bee and me, she’s here to make sure we hydrate, don’t lose our purses, and don’t go home with drunken boys who will turn into more of a problem than a good time. So far, she’s done a spectacular job.

“You could come with,” Bee says, winking at her and biting her lip gently.

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