Page 72 of The Lies Always Told

Stay out of trouble.

Unbelievable.

I open the bag and, like the other day, there’s another note with a small box.

Hey Trouble,

I can’t seem to figure this out. It feels like I take a step forward and three steps back. I’m guessing today, you’re not tipsy, but pissed. I’m guessing you didn’t sleep much last night, and I’m sorry for that. If it’s any consolation prize, neither did I. I haven’t been able to sleep in weeks. I miss you, and again, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I broke your trust so badly that even when the truth is there, it’s hard for you to believe. I’m sorry I did this to us by keeping information from you. I want to tell you everything, but not like this. In the meantime, here’s some iced coffee, just how you like it, and a little something that made me think of you.

Con cariño,

Your DLS (hoping to be more than this, though)

PS: They have the same thing with diamonds if you prefer. I’m happy to get you another one, but I figured you didn’t want anything flashy.

I openthe small box and find a delicate necklace with a small wave pendant in the middle. It’s a beautiful, dainty, white gold necklace with a wave that matches my tattoo. I grab it and turn it around to inspect it. There are letters written on the back: “With The Waves.”

Does he think he’s going to buy me with gifts and coffee? Does he think he can send me treats and apologies, and I’ll beable to just, what? Forgive him?He just wants to talk to you.Damn you, voice in my head. I’m so irritated, I just want to go home. I look at the clock, and it’s only been thirty minutes since school started. Today’s gonna be a long day.

Sis:

Are you coming to book club tonight?

Cara’s text comes through,and I want to scream as soon as I get it. I forgot about the damn book club, but I promised her and myself I was going to be more social. I still don’t have friends here, so I might as well start building stronger relationships with hers. So much for not living in her shadow anymore.

Me:

Yes. What should I bring?

Sis:

Take an Uber and I’ll drive you home. Natalie’s bringing wine, and since she can’t drink, she says it gives her joy seeing others do so.

Me:

I can’t drink a lot on a school night. Not again, at least.

Sis:

You won’t be able to stop after you taste the first sip. I promise.

Me:

Fine. See you at seven.

We readBright Sideby Kim Holden for book club, and I’m in between being in love and completely heartbroken by it. It’ssuch a beautiful story in the most heart-wrenching way. I can’t wait to hear everyone’s thoughts.

The bell rings, announcing the end of the day, and I immediately let out a breath. I’ve made it another day. Another day, I’ve managed to do this job and hopefully not mess anyone’s life up. If I hurry and wrap this up quickly, I’ll be able to head home and take a nap in the hopes of appearing more human tonight. Nobody comes to get a snack or write messages.

I finish gathering my things and walk to the bowl of messages students have left. Today’s reads:

I hope I get to play football this season.

That must be Thomas. He’s a goofy seventh grader who walks around like he owns the school but then sits on the bean bag chair and tells me all about how he wants to make his parents proud and that his dad was a football player. I’ve been meaning to ask Jake and Nick, Bella’s dad, to give a pep talk to some of the middle schoolers who are not necessarily playing a lot right now and have barely made it through practices.

The one from earlier was on a light green piece of paper. I wonder if there are more. How didn’t I think about it earlier? I could’ve done this a lot sooner, but the fog in my brain from being tired isn’t helping.

I pour the contents of the bowl onto the table and take out all the ones written on the same green paper. There are eight total, two of which have nothing to do with the rest. They’re random thoughts, silly. The rest, though? Same handwriting, same feelings, probably same kid.

---