Page 70 of The Lies Always Told

Me:

Don’t yell at me.

DLS:

I’m texting, not yelling, and you’re infuriating sometimes. Answer the phone.

Fucking hell. Okay. I answer the phone with a loud, “What?”

“Now who’s yelling?” His voice carries from the other side of the phone, completely cool, calm, and collected. That pisses me off even more.

“What do you want, Gus?” If this man laughs, I will lose it.

“To explain what you think you saw, but I can guarantee, it’s not what it looked like,” he says, continuing with hisI don’t give a fuckdemeanor.

“And what exactly do you think I thought?”

“That I was on a date with the girl I took to the auction.” Pretty on point, I’m not going to lie. “And before you deny it, Iknow that’s where your beautiful brain went. But Nellie, I’m not dating Blair.”

“Of course her name is Blair,” I mumble, rolling the eyes he can’t see.

“I can basically feel you rolling your eyes, Nellie.”

“I did not.” Now I sound like a petulant child. This man brings out all the stupid emotions in me. All of them. I know this isn’t helping. I know I’m showing zero self-control and maturity, the opposite of who I am, but I can’t stop. He makes me feel everything more. Happier, angrier.

“Okay, sure.” He lets out an exasperated breath. “Nellie…Blair is a business partner of sorts. Her family owns a company that works closely with mine. We have monthly meetings, and we like to meet at restaurants because it looks like we’re working together, or like we’re together with the public. Good PR. It’s a win-win for both our companies. I’m not dating her. Never have and never will.”

I stay silent, letting the words hang between us and absolutely hating every single one of them. Is that a rational explanation? Yes. Do I believe him? Yes. Am I still mad? Yes.

“And the reality is, Nellie, I’ve always had a hard time connecting with people. Not at the superficial, oh I’m friendly level, more at the hard to the core, I might love you forever level. It’s always too hard. I’m the one ruining people, the one who can’t love right. I thought I didn’t know how, but honestly, I think I just didn’t have it right. Not until you. So yes, please give me a chance. Give me a chance to show you I am capable of loving right.”

“Say something,” he says. When I don’t, he continues, “Tell me what you want, Nellie. Do you want me on my knees? Do you want me crawling to you, begging? Pleading? Supplicating? I’m ready to do it all. Just please, say something.”

“You want me to say something? How about a question… Was she the phone call you took when we were at the cabin?”

“No,” he answers, quickly and without hesitation.

“Then who?” This time, the line goes silent, and he doesn’t say anything at all.

“Then who, Gus? Who?”

He doesn’t say anything. Shocker.

“You said you wanted to explain and to give you another chance just last night. So tell me…who?”

“I don’t want to talk about this, not like this.”

“You know what…actually, it’s none of my business who you talk to anymore. It’s none of my business what you do or don’t do in your free time, Gus. We’re not together, remember?”

“We need to talk about that. We could be, if you would’ve just called me back. We need to go somewhere so I can explain. Please.”

“I’m done talking about it. I know where you stand, and I know where I stand. You want fun and casual, like your friend, Blair.”

“Nellie, I already told you. It’s not like that.”

“And I said I don’t care.”

“God, woman. You’re infuriating. Stop acting your age and listen for a second.” Oh, he didn’t.

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