Page 64 of The Lies Always Told

“What are you gonna do?” he asks, challenging me with his eyes.

“I’m trying to win her back. No, not trying, I’m going to win her back. I will nag until I have her again, but it will take time, considering I just called her my fuck buddy at Allie’s yesterday.”

“You did what?”

“I know, I know. Not my finest moment.”

“She can’t be one of the women you sleep with and then forget about,” he offers.

“Oh, I tried. I tried after the night we just kissed and then didn’t talk for a month, but have you ever met her? There’s no forgetting Nellie. There’s no after Nellie, either. OnlybeforeNellie andwithNellie. After she’s in your life, she’s there forever. Trust me, I’d know. I’ve been trying to fight it, but there’s no way I can forget her. She’s more than that, Manny. She’s incredible. She’s everything.”

“You need to get yourself together and tell her,” he says with a smile on his face.

“I’m trying. She won’t listen until I come clean and tell her everything, but I don’t want her to choose me because she pities me.”

“Because of your heart?”

I nod. “I hurt her. I know I did. So now, I must show her I meant it when I said I was sorry and I won’t let her go easily. I need to do what Allie says all the time. Sorry doesn’t fix it, so I need a different approach. Where I need space, she needs words, and I need to find a time and a place to say them to her.” I’m lost in thought, in my own ramblings, when it hits me. How did he know?

“How did you know?”

“Other than you eye fucking her at the dinner? You weren’t interested in joining us until you heard Nellie was going to be there, and you jumped at the opportunity. And then you two were icy cold, sometimes hot too. Looking at each other while simultaneously staying away from each other too. She was shooting daggers at you all day, the way any woman who wants to murder a lover does.”Busted.“And you…well, you look at her the same way I look at her sister.”

“How?” I know what he means, though. I look at Nellie like she hung the moon.

“Like she is your favorite song.” Yup, that tracks. My favorite tune, melody, and symphony.

“Does Cara know?” I ask Manny, concerned because I would love to get my shit in check before she finds out.

“No, not that I know of, but I will tell her if she asks. So you need to get your shit figured out before she does. I won’t lie to her.” And of course, as my twin and best friend, he knows exactly what I mean without me even saying it.

“Understood.”

1 Yes, sir.

2 What’s going on with you?

3 Nothing, hurry up, okay?

4 What’s up bro? (This is a Dominican slang)

5 Sit and tell me what’s going on because it’s been weeks since I’ve ever seen you that serious.

6 What the fuck is wrong with you?

TWENTY

MR. ALBOOTY

Growing Sideways by Noah Kahan&Someone to Stay by Vancouver Sleep Clinic

Nellie

So much forkeeping myself from consuming alcohol during the week. The time of daily drinking and struggling through classes and internships should have remained firmly in the past. Yet, here I am—severely hungover, still grappling with the same overwhelming sense of discomfort I’ve felt for the past two days, barely able to keep my eyes open. Today might be one of those rare occasions where I remain in my office, buried in paperwork, rather than seeing too many kids.

The chatter from the middle schoolers cuts through the hallway, loud and relentless. They’re always loud—too loud, especially today. I love them, I do, but today, I wish they’d dial it down a notch. I move through the entryway, nodding to Ms. Laura, our receptionist. She’s been here for decades, and I’veknown her since my own time at Baker Middle. She’s been nothing but welcoming, and for that, I’m grateful.

“Hey Nellie, you have a delivery. Here.” She hands me a medium brown paper bag, her voice warm and steady.

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