Page 63 of The Lies Always Told

“How convenient.”

“¿Y a ti que te pasa??2” He’s usually chirpy, or at least, he has been since he came back from the road trip a couple of months ago. He’s been a changed man, prioritizing his lifeover work. I haven’t heard Manny the CEO Asshole all summer.

“Nada. ¿Date pronto, okay??3”

“Si, señor.”

The roads are somewhat empty as I navigate the streets of Jacksonville to the corporate office. This is our main office, where we sign new contracts or update old ones, hold staff meetings, or meet with new clients unless they’re local to our other two locations.

This place used to be my home, back when I ate, slept, and breathed business. I didn’t take care of myself, and it almost killed me. It took me months to break the pattern, and it took me years to look at the building and not feel like it could eat me alive at any second. My relationship with the business is just that now: business. I nourish it, of course, but not as much as I nourish my health.

“Good morning, Zabana Ent!” I call out, my voice echoing as I step through the clear glass doors into the sleek, sunlit lobby. The scent of polished wood and fresh espresso lingers in the air, mingling with the pristine look of this place. The space is open and modern, bathed in natural light pouring in from the floor-to-ceiling windows that offer a great view of the St. Johns River just beyond the building.

“Good morning, Mr. Zabana,” Lucas greets me from behind the minimalist black marble reception desk. His posture is always professional, but with a flicker of familiarity in his eyes that makes everyone who meets him feel like family immediately.

“No need to get up—I’ll find my brother,” I tell him, flashing a quick grin. “Good to see you, man.”

He nods, and I head toward the conference room. Manny hired someone to design this space, and it shows. The walls are lined with bamboo panels, a warm contrast to the cool tones ofthe polished concrete floors. Clean lines, hidden storage, and furniture that balances comfort with sophistication, just like he always envisioned it. As for me, I don’t care. I want this place to feel warm and comfortable for the people who work here, so as long as they feel it, I’m happy.

I take a deep breath, absorbing the quiet energy of the space before pushing the door open. Manny is already inside, standing near the window with his arms crossed, deep in thought. Whatever’s on his mind, I have a feeling I’m about to find out.

“Que Lo Que, manin?4?”

“Gusti,” he says, turning around but not smiling at me.

“Siéntate y dime que te pasa porque tengo semanas que no te veo así tan serio.?5”

“You sit and tell me what the hell are you thinking, fucking Nellie Thompson.” Oh, shit. I shake my head and sit down on the oak conference table in the middle of the room. There’s no point in denying it.

“You were the one who told me weeks ago that it wasn’t any of your business when I was sleeping with Cara, but to remember it was more than our hearts on the line. Then you turn around and fuck her little sister? ¿Que coño te pasa a ti, loco??6.

“It’s not what you think.”

“It’s not what I think? Are you or are you not sleeping with Nellie?”

“Currently, I’m not.” He shakes his head at my use of words. If there’s someone I can’t bullshit, it’s him. He knows me too well. Always has, and I can’t blame him. We’re not only brothers but twins. We talk every day. Wesee each other often, and until college, we were never apart for more than a day. He knows me too well.

“What the fuck, Gus?Wereyou?”

Just sleeping with her? No. Falling in love with every part of her? Yes. Wishing I could breathe the same air as her? Be in the same place with her? Finding out that my life feels dull without her in it? Also yes. But I don’t tell him that. I keep it simple and just say, “Yes.”

“I fucking knew it. Since when? June, when you started acting weird and shit? You stopped attending events around that time too.”

“Technically May…since her graduation.” Well fuck, might as well just tell him everything.

“Cara and Allie are going to kill you,” he spits, turning one of the chairs around and sitting opposite from me.

“Why, Manny? I’m a good man. I would be so good for her, so why would they kill me?” A scoff escapes me, because of course I just now realized it, just now figured this out. I’ve been so afraid of letting others know because of how they might react when I should’ve been thinking about all the reasons why I’m the perfect man for Nellie. All the reasons why our families would be okay with us being together.

“I don’t know, Gus. The mystery girl… It was Nellie all along? What were you thinking?”

I tell him everything, from seeing her at the club and lusting over her before realizing it was her to the events that have happened since. I tell him everything except the things Nellie confided in me; those are none of his business. I tell him about how much I laugh when I’m with her, how unwell I feel when I’m not. I tell him how my heart slows its erratic beatings when I’m near her, how just her scent is enough to bring me peace.

“Coño…you love her don’t you?” he asks, raising his eyebrows and relaxing his body. He was so tense throughout the story, wary of what I was going to say, especially considering Nellie is Cara’s sister.

“I don’t want to answer that question without telling her first.” I’ve told her every single other thing. I feel for her. I want her. I like her. I’m in awe of her. I want to fuck her.Mine.But I haven’t given her the words I know encompass everything I feel for her—love. I haven’t given those words to anyone but my family. I guard them. I don’t let them out easily. I don’t toss them around. I meticulously keep them inside because I believe in them in a way that maybe not everyone does. So many people say they love, but what they do is lust. What they do is care. What they do is hurt. But love? I’ve seen it only from some people.

“I’ve seen it in the way our mother loves us, unconditionally and fearlessly. I’ve seen it in the way Allie is loved by Jake and the way she loves him back. The way she was haunted by the love they had for each other for a decade until they found each other again. I’ve seen it in the way Manny loves Cara, first secretly for years, then as loud as someone could show it. I’ve seen it in the way teachers love students, putting them first, regardless of blood relationships. In the way my grandma loved my grandpa, for decades and decades, through thick and thin, through sickness and health. I respect those three words way too much to just toss them around, but I’ve always wanted someone I could love like that. I think Nellie is it. I know she is. If it’s not love, then it must be insanity. And I’m about to lose her because I’ve been holding back.”

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