Page 60 of The Lies Always Told

DLS:

I never said you weren’t enough.

Me:

Not with your words, but your actions for sure.

DLS:

Not true. We agreed to keep a secret.

Me:

No. We agreed to take it easy because our siblings had their heads up their asses, but look around. Clearly, that didn’t last. They found their happy while you, well, I guess you found out.

DLS:

I found out what?

Me:

What would happen if you fucked around.

DLS:

BUT I DIDN’T, Trouble.

Me:

Also lost the right to call me that.

DLS:

Come on, that’s not fair. We agreed to be together, you know, fuck buddies, and then everything blew up.

Oh, he did not. He did not just call me that. I look at him, and he looks terrified now. Oh, he knows he messed up. He knows it, and if anyone else isn’t completely enamored by the happiness oozing out of Nick and Natalie, they would see it too. I am one hundred percent flashing murder in my eyes, but I collect myself. Maybe I’m grieving losing him. There was shock at first, then sadness, and now, there’s rage. Just rage.

Me:

Then fuck off, buddy.

I get up suddenly, pushing the wooden chair backward, making a screeching sound with it. A few heads snap my way, and I shake mine.

“Sorry, sorry, congrats, you guys. Carry on celebrating. I’m just using the restroom.” I walk down the hallway until I make it to the guest bedroom. Their house isn’t huge, so I canstill hear them cheering and celebrating, and I need to breathe. I need to wash my face to cool off. I need…something. I need to not look at Gus so I can be myself again. Seeing him here was like pouring salt on a fresh wound. I open the faucet, letting the cool water run and all but stick my head into it. I wash my face after removing my glasses and look up at the mirror.

“Get yourself together, Nellie. He’s just a man. Just a man,” I tell myself in the mirror over and over, and maybe I’ll believe it someday. I grab the tie from my wrist and pull my long hair up into a ponytail. I fasten it with the tie and dry my face.

“Just a man, Nellie. Just a man,” I whisper to myself, opening the bathroom door and seeing said man standing right in front of it. His back is against the wall, his legs crossed one over the other one, a smug smile on his face.

“Who’s just a man?” I’m actually going to kill him. I would look good in orange. Who the fuck cares about jail? Not me, that’s for sure.

“I’m not having this conversation here, Gus.”

“You’re not having any conversations with me, Nellie. How is a man supposed to survive?”

“You survived just fine before this summer. Go back to your models and enjoy.” I try to walk past him, back to the gathering, but he stops me. His hand brushes mine, sending a spark of electricity up my arm.

“What if I want you?” he whispers against my ear. The audacity. Where did he buy it? I would love to buy some for myself.

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