Watching the firebombing of my own city has chased that thought out of my mind. The troops were willing to burn their own city, including all the inhabitants inside. Of course, they’d kill these Aurelians on sight.
Tears come to my eyes, and a sob wracks me. I had no love for Barl, yet I feel deep sadness for those betrayed by their rulers.
It was a city I lived in out of necessity, not out of choice – but I still sob. I weep not only for the city, and not only for Edgar. I sob because I have no idea what to do now.
My plan had been to get the orphans to the Capital, where they could be safe. Now, I have no trust left in my mind. If the government of my own people was willing to burn down an entire city to stop the Scorp – potentially killing millions of innocents rather than send in troops – then the Capital is no longer a safe haven. It’s another trap.
The Capital have revealed themselves to be no less dangerous than the Scorp.
“I guess we can… can live out in thewoods…” I whisper the words to myself, knowing they aren’t feasible.
These three Aurelians might be able to take care of us out in the middle of nowhere, but what kind of a life is that? The huge aliens stand out – and if anyone saw us, they’d would report the sight to the authorities.
Anti-Aurelian sentiment has never been stronger. If a hunter stumbled on us and witnessed us, we’d face a terrible choice – silence the hunter, or await Capital troops to come huntingus.
Hadone wraps me up in his huge arms from behind, hugging me tightly to his powerful body. I let go, collapsing into his arms. Ragged sobs leave my chest, and huge tears roll down my cheeks.
I’m ashamed of my weakness, but I need the catharsis of tears.
I’d once thought of women who cried as being too emotional. They reminded me of those noble ladies who had the luxury of being weak.
But now, as I sob, I don’t feel weak.
I just feel empty. Betrayed.
Hadone holds me, whispering gently in his language. As he holds me, I look down at the scars on his forearms. They’re a stark white, barely visible against his ivory skin. I can see his veins through his skin, the green blood pulsing just beneath the surface. His tattoos, which run in intricate patterns across his flesh, glow a faintish green.
I realize each cut on his arm, each scar, was a battle won. Hadone speaks in his language, and I ache to understand him. I ache for this towering warrior to tell me how to move past this. He must have had a thousand tragedies in his life. I can sense the violence in him. I can sense the rage, barely controlled, beneath his surface. I canfeelhow part of him craves to die in glorious battle.
I wish I had the power to make him ache that way for life, instead.
Darok moves in front of me, blocking the view of the inferno. I can see him starkly illuminated against the background of fire and blood. Darok moves his hand gently against my cheek, wiping up tears as they roll down my cheeks, one by one. He smiles at me – giving me, for the first time, a sad glimpse of empathy that reveals he understands what I’m going through.
It’s funny - Darok used to look at me with such suspicion. I don’t think I could have handled another set of judging eyes; but it turns out I didn’t need to. Now, Darok stares at me like I’m a possession he needs desperately to keep safe.
“We have to… We have to get back to hiding,” I say, as I hear heli-ships returning from their ghastly mission.
Hadone gently unwraps his arms from around me and leads me back into the lean-to structure. Thank the Gods it’s camouflaged so expertly. Surely there’s no way the heli-ships will be able to spot it from above – especially not beneath this canopy of trees.
The kids duck inside their shelter, and we return to ours.
Inside, we find Forn still in a deep, healing slumber, and I nod towards him, happy that he hasn’t woken yet. Forn is strong, and young – and I’m hopeful he’ll make a full recovery once he’s rested and eaten. Iknowhe will – Ihaveto know it. Ihaveto believe that he will, because imagining the man who saved my life having his own snuffed out before I get the chance to truly…bewith him is too painful to think about.
Bewith him. I couldn’t even say it – not even in my head – but I knew what it implied by the needy throb between my legs.
I lay down and Hadone and Darok both wrap their bodies around me, holding me tight to them. My lust has quieted, and they simply whisper in their language, soft and reassuring, telling me with their tone, rather than the meaning of their words, that everything is going to be alright.
I take a deep breath and my tears stop. The wetness rolling down my cheeks is not a sign of weakness. It’s catharsis. Now I have the grief shed from my system, I’m more determined than ever in what I know I have to do.
Whatever happens, Imustkeep Stacy, Tod, Tyler and Runner safe.
I’ve got three new charges now, too. The Aurelians might have saved me back in Barl, but it’s now my job to keepthemsafe. The three of them are fugitives, even if they don’t realize it yet.
The penalty for an Aurelian incursion on this planet is execution. I have no illusions that the Capital will make an exception when they learn of the unusual nature of these three tattooed Aurelians, or hear of the fearless sacrifices they made to protect us.
No. Those childish ideals burned away with my city.
A deep exhaustion grips me. I’ve nearly died so many times today that the idea is starting to lose meaning. Death, life – they’ve become two sides of the same coin.
The huge arms of the Aurelians hold me reassuringly tight, so much so that I can barely move. Yet, I don’t feel trapped. Their skin against mine actually makes me ache for life – to live it, rather than just exist as I had done for so many years in Barl.
I turn my head and look over at Forn, watching him in his deep slumber. I feel the fatigue overwhelm me, too. As my eyelids become too heavy to keep open, I hope desperately that I’ll have a dreamless sleep.
And tomorrow… Tomorrow, I’ll decide where to take my little group. Tomorrow, not right now…