Page 17 of The Compound

There was no moon that night, but it was so beautiful, with the dusky purple flowers and the swaying vines, that it wasn’t missed. He sat close and kept my hand in his. In the dark, my hands looked lily-white.

“It’s hard to believe we only met yesterday,” he said. “I feel like I knowyou. You were so sweet on that swing, Lily. You looked like you didn’t have a care in the world.”

He towered over me, his chin tilted toward me. He was so incredibly handsome; he looked like every actor I had ever wanted, and the boys I always pretended not to notice.

“I’m glad you picked me,” I said. “I wasn’t sure.”

“I was sure,” he said, and leaned his head down and kissed me. He tasted like chlorine and aloe vera. It was quiet, save for the occasional ripple of the water before us, and the hum of cicadas. He pressed me gently into the grass, stroked my hair, and whispered that I was beautiful. I thought that it must have been a great moment of television. I could imagine people watching at home, smiling softly, pleased forus.

—

We went tobed a while later. Ryan didn’t kiss me again, only got into bed quietly beside me. It was dark, but I could hear people moving around: not just taking their places in beds, I thought, but shifting to different beds, too. There were surely people who had shared beds last night who had found someone else that they preferred.

When I thought that the bathroom was empty, I peeked around the sheet we used as a door. I saw Sam there, brushing his teeth. “Sorry,” I said. “I’ll wait.” I started to replace the sheet, but he shook his head and gestured me in, his toothbrush still in his mouth. I had brought my washbag, but I didn’t particularly want to remove my makeup in front of Sam. Instead, I took out my toothbrush, too. Sam reached over and squeezed a pea-sized glob of toothpaste on my brush, and we stood facing the mirror, brushing in silence. He brushed quickly and vigorously; my method by comparison seemed lethargic. There was something about Sam that seemed to fill the room: I was aware of his every movement. I spat as daintily as I could. I kept waiting for him to finish and leave so that I could take off my makeup, but he continued brushing. I spat one last time. “Goodnight,” I said.

He spat, too. “Wait a second,” he said. He reached over and brushed the corner of my mouth. “Toothpaste,” he said.

“Oh,” I said. I think I blushed. “Thanks.”

“Sure. Goodnight, Lily.”

I walked back to the bedroom and returned to my bed. I turned on my side so that I faced Ryan and saw from the occasional flash of white and blue in the dark that he was watching me, too. We might have looked like lovers, gazing at each other with that tenderness that comes out at night—but I was looking at him to see if he would leave, to make sure that I was safe. It had happened before: residents creeping out of bed in the middle of the night and swapping with another, sometimes returning later in the night, and sometimes leaving their bedmate vulnerable. I felt his eyes on me and knew that he was thinking the same. It would have been easier for us both if I had just said, “I’m not going to anyone else’s bed—I want you.” Instead I said nothing, and woke often, checking to see that he was still there.

Four

In the flare of morninglight, I could see the other couples in bed: Andrew and Candice were sleeping next to each other, each keeping to their own side of the bed. Jacintha was with Marcus, his arms wrapped around her. Mia and Carlos were sharing a bed now, lying so far apart that they were both hanging partly off the mattress.

I slipped quietly out and into the girls’ dressing room, where, in the absence of air conditioning, the heat hit me at once, cruel and abrasive. I sat at my station and brushed my hair, trying to erase any semblance of sleep from my face. I pressed on my screen, and my Personal Task litup.

Task: Skinny-dip in the pool

Reward: Lip balm

I moved through the house, tying my hair up as I went. In the hallway, I found Tom sitting by the arch where the door should have been. He had brought one of the dining chairs inside and was facing the outdoors. He turned back to look at me.

“Hey,” I said.

“Morning,” he said.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

“I wanted to keep an eye out. It’s not safe without a door. Any kind of savage animal could walk in.”

I had been planning to do my task quickly, before anyone else woke up, but there was a direct view of the pool from where he sat.

“There’s a spider in the bathroom,” I said. “Would you mind getting rid of it?”

“Of course not,” he said, and got up at once.

I walked quickly toward the pool, taking my clothes off as I went. Ihesitated at the lip of the pool for only a second, then jumped in. I gasped at the cold, as painful as it was refreshing. I pulled myself out and dressed as quickly as I could. When I glanced up, I was startled to see Tom back in his seat. He didn’t react when I saw him watching me, but he didn’t look away either. I didn’t want to walk by him, so I moved toward the swings we had found last night. I kicked my feet off the ground and swung for a while. It was shaded, and I felt cool and clean. When I heard the others up and about I went inside for coffee.

—

The house wasin general disarray again. The kitchen was messy, grimy counters and dirty dishes in the sink. The sheet doubling as the bathroom door now lay in a crumpled mess on the floor. I saw Jacintha and Gav arguing about the best way to keep it in place and left them toit.

I changed into my day outfit, shorts and a bralette, and went about cleaning the kitchen. There was hand soap and a sponge, but no gloves, and no washing detergent. After a few minutes, Becca appeared beside me and silently dried the dishes I had washed. I had seen her this morning, in bed with Sam, sleeping curled in a ball while he had been lying on his back, close to each other, but not touching.

Gav entered and rooted through the fridge. There was still plenty of food, but not a lot that we could eat for dinner. “How are you lovely ladies this morning?”

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