Page 154 of Fire and Icing

“I know you do.” I do know it. “I love you too. This is big, Syd. I’m really hurt.”

“I know.” She starts crying. “Okay. Stay there.” She sniffles. “Let me in when I knock, okay? Or don’t. I get it. But I’m on my way.” Another soft shuddering inhale.

She’s trying to cover it, but I can hear that she’s crying while she talks. Her voice is wobbly with remorse. That’s something.

We hang up and I sit on the edge of my sofa, thinking over the years I’ve known Sydney.

We met in elementary school and we’ve been inseparable ever since. Once Syd loved baking as much as I did, we concocteda plan. The idea for this bakery of ours was hatched back in junior high. When I finally pulled enough money together to invest in the business, we took the leap.

I know marriage is the greatest commitment you can make to another person in this lifetime. But in my heart, the kind of partnership Syd and I have has a depth that’s just shy of marriage. She’s the sister I never had. We own our dream business together. We see one another nearly every single day. And we spend more hours together than most married couples who separate each morning to go off to work and then reunite in their exhausted states at the end of every long day.

Her knock comes only a few minutes later. I stand and open the door.

“Were you parked down the street?”

“I can not confirm or deny that fact. But … yes.”

“Syd.”

“Emberleigh.” She starts crying and wipes at her tears. “I’m so so sorry.”

“I know.”

I step back and she walks past me into the living room.

I already forgive her. I can’t help it. The good in our lives. Our shared history. The way she’s always been there for me through so many ups and downs. Dating Evan and hiding it is big. But not bigger than all that.

“Have a seat,” I say.

She sits on one end of the couch. I sit on the other.

“Where should I start?” she asks rhetorically. “First, and this is not an excuse, I want you to know I wanted to tell you. There were moments. I should have told you. But between the contest and you falling for Dustin, it never felt like the right time. I didn’t want to ruin the magic you were finally getting to experience. And then Dustin’s news hit, and I panicked. I was literally going to tell you that night. But I couldn’t. Can you imagine? Hey,Emberleigh. I know you’re reeling because Dustin might leave Waterford to pursue his dreams, but also, I’m dating Evan.”

I shake my head. She’s not wrong. But also, she is.

“Then ever since the night he told you, you’ve been processing what Dustin pursuing music means for you. So, I held back.”

“And flat-out lied to me.” I cross my arms across my chest.

I may have already forgiven her, but I’m not making this easy. She shouldn’t have lied.

“I know. I probably shouldn’t have been so hyper-aware of how my news would hit. I could have eased you into it by at least saying I’m seeing someone. But I knew you’d want to know who and I knew it would level you.”

“Syd. I just want you to be happy. Do you not have enough faith in me to get over my own issues with your choice in men?”

“I do. I did. I just knew it was going to be a blow to you and I was trying to soften it by finding the right moment.”

“Like before he proposed?”

“Before that, for sure.” She looks at me sheepishly. “I’m sorry. I really messed up. But my heart was in the right place. Not excusing myself. Just, I hope that helps you see why I did it.”

“Lied.” I reiterate it because she needs to own it.

“Yes. I lied. And I hid the truth, which is just as bad.”

“Right.”

“Right.” She stares at me, a sad expression on her face.

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