Page 137 of Fire and Icing

“No.”

“I’m guessing tens of thousands.”

“You think?”

“Sure. At least that. And do we have tens of thousands of handsome firemen becoming country stars every year?”

“No.”

“Exactly.”

“He could be the one in ten thousand.”

“He’syourone in ten thousand. And he knows it. Give the man the benefit of the doubt.”

“I’m trying, Syd.”

“I know you are, sweetie.”

“Sweetie?”

“It sounded appropriate to the moment.”

We both laugh. Then Syd draws me into her arms. And all the stress and fear that’s been boiling inside me over the past twelve hours or so comes to the surface. I feel the tears press behind my eyes and then they can’t be held back.

“I think I love him,” I say through my sobbing.

“That’s a good thing,” Syd coos into my hair.

“I knoooowwww,” I say with a snuffle.

We stand together, her smoothing my hair, me weeping until I’ve let enough out that I feel incrementally better. I pull back, wiping under my eyes.

“Let’s bake some cookies,” Syd suggests. “Cookies always make it better.”

I wash up while Syd lays out the ingredients. We whip up a batch of dough, not saying much while we work.

“I don’t ever want to look back and wonder if he stayed because I begged or forced him,” I say into the silence. “If I askhim directly, I’ll never know if he’s staying for me or because he wants to.”

“Beg to differ. You’ll know because he’ll tell you. If you don’t talk to him you’ll never know what might have happened if you did. You’re two grown-ups who have deep feelings for one another, you need to tell him how you feel—fears and all. I’m about to say something bold, so buckle up, buttercup.”

I brace myself for her truth-bomb.

“When Drew left, you let him go without a fight. I’m not saying that would have made a difference. It probably wouldn’t. But Dustin is not Drew. He’s a totally different man. And he’s head over heels for you. Stop making him pay for the sins of your ex and give him the chance he deserves.”

I nod. She’s right.

“Not everyone is Drew,” Syd adds. Her tone is so intense, I wonder if we're even talking about me and Dustin anymore.

“I agree. Okay, Syd?”

“Yeah. I just want you to wipe the slate clean and give people a chance.”

“I will. I’m not one to hold grudges. You know that.”

Syd’s about to answer me when her phone rings.

I ask her, “Who is it?”

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