Page 131 of Fire and Icing

“Are you?”

I look at Patrick. “I never thought this would actually happen, so no. I guess I had this one wild hope I’d move near Nashville and catch a break. After all, I do sing country. I know my voice is decent. But I came here to be a fireman. Do some gigs on the side. Not to have an industry rep give me his card.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I think I’m taking a trip to Nashville. It can’t hurt to record this demo. It’s three songs. One of them is my original—the one I wrote for Emberleigh. The other one a songwriter for the label wrote. And then there’s a cover.”

“So this is actually happening?” Patrick’s voice is pure excitement.

“The demo is. I don’t know what’s next. Will this lead to an actual music career? Who knows.”

Patrick whistles softly. "This sounds like it could be big. Have you told Emberleigh?"

"Not yet. It’s all happening so quickly.” I pause. “Besides, I'm afraid it'll push her away.”

Patrick’s lips thin. “Yeah. You’re wise to consider how this will land with her.”

“Maybe I should just let this pass me by.”

“Will you be able to let it go?” Patrick asks. “If you don’t pursue this, will you look back wondering what could have happened?”

“Maybe,” I admit.

“You sure you’re not using Emberleigh as a reason to stay safe? Pursuing our dreams always feels like a freefall. Having someone who resists for us takes the heat off us.”

I don’t even know. Am I afraid? Sure. Recording my own songs with a label is something I couldn’t have ever dreamed of having the chance of doing. I want to pursue this opportunity.

We’re both silent for a few beats. Then Patrick says, "You won't know until you try, man. But don't let fear make decisions for you. If you have a dream of singing, you’ve got to follow that dream. Otherwise, you’ll end up resentful at a certain red-headed baker."

“I can’t imagine ever being resentful at her.”

“I hear that. Also, setting aside a life-long dream for another person isn’t something you should do lightly. I think you need to talk to her about it at the very least. You just gave up a big chunk of your life to go support her dreams. I’m pretty sure that kind of thing is a two-way street in a healthy relationship.”

“You’re right. I’ll talk to her. I need to. She has to be a part of the conversation.”

I’m home the next morning after my shift ends, but Emberleigh’s at the bakery. Now that I’ve decided I want to go to Nashville, I definitely have to share the opportunity with her. I’m hoping allmy nerves are unwarranted. Maybe she’ll just be happy for me. I know abandonment is a trigger for her. This isn’t me leaving her. I need to help her see that. I’d never give up Emberleigh for a career. But maybe, just maybe, there’s a way to have both. I have to believe there is.

I help Mrs. Holt grab some things down from the attic and then I sit out on the porch and call my mom. Neighbors walk by with their dogs, a few pedal down the street on bikes. There’s a breeze through the trees today. I sway on the porch swing and think about home.

“Dustin?”

“Hey, Mom.”

“Well, this is a pleasant surprise.”

“What do you mean? I just called you this weekend.”

“I know. I’m not keeping score.” She pauses. “Hold on for a minute. I’ve got to put a hash mark on your talley on the whiteboard in my kitchen.”

“Mom!”

“You’re ahead of Stevens this week, so that’s good. My students at the high school call that a streak.”

I chuckle. “Mom.”

“Yes, son. What’s got you calling me mid-morning? Oh. It’s afternoon in your part of the world, isn’t it?”

“I’m only two hours later than you. I don’t live in Europe.”

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