Page 105 of Scars of Anatomy
I give him an appreciative smile, respectfully declining his offer. I’m sure after the day she’s had, the last thing Olivia will want to do when she gets home is to see me and hash things out. She’s already had such an emotionally taxing day that I don’t want to send her over the edge, ruining any sliver of a chance I may still have left with her. And I definitely don’t want to seem like the domineering boyfriend who can’t let her breathe, especially to her parents.
“No, thanks, Mr. McCausland. I’ll catch her tomorrow,” I repeat, backing away from the door. “Have a nice night.”
“All right, Bronx. You too.”
He watches me from the doorway as I walk down the driveway and hop on my bike.
I drive back to campus, my chest tight and mind racing a million miles an hour. While I may not have gotten what I wanted to get accomplished tonight, I know there’s always tomorrow. Even if the wait kills me.
My fight isn’t over yet. I’m going to fight for her with everything I have in me tomorrow morning, first thing.
Thirty-four
Know
I wake up the next morning, feeling worse than I have from any hangover I’ve ever had. I got a total of maybe two hours of sleep, too anxious and distressed to rest, going over and over in my head what I’m going to say to Olivia.
I check the time on my phone to see it’s just past seven o’clock. I know Olivia has a final at eight for the lab she teaches for Professor Cooper so I jump out of bed and get dressed, wanting to catch her before it starts.
I wander down the halls of the science building until I reach her lab room. Peeking inside, I spot a few early bird, eager freshmen already sitting inside, going over their notes one last time. I glance at the front of the classroom to find one of them talking with Olivia.
She looks wrecked. The dark circles under her eyes tell me she’s probably gotten just as much sleep as I have, and the dullness in her usually bright eyes tells me just how emotionally drained she must be after all the events that have taken place in the past twenty-four hours.
Seemingly sensing my gaze, she looks up and her eyes lock on mine. I nearly gasp at how dull and empty her expression is. At how differently she’s looking at me. That usual sparkle of fondness, happiness, isn’t there. It’s like she’s looking at me as if I’m just a ghost from her memory.
I don’t miss the quick flicker of surprise, as well as the lingering pain set deep beneath the usually warm brown irises. For a moment I think I see a flash of longing in them, but that may just be wishful thinking.
She stares at me with a mix of emotions, until her attention is taken back by the freshman in front of her, asking a million questions.
With fifteen minutes remaining until the exam starts, a few more students filter in. Olivia glances up at me frequently, and eventually she excuses herself, standing up and walking across the lab to the door.
My heart reaches out for her, but my feet stay glued to the floor, unsure of whether or not to meet her halfway or have her come to me.
“Finch.”
She looks at me, subtly shaking her head. She places her hand on the door, making my heart sink.
“Finch, please, let’s talk,” I beg.
She continues to shake her head. “Not here,” she says, voice hardly above a whisper, a plea rolling off her lips.
I open my mouth and close it, as her wounded eyes beg me to leave. I know I shouldn’t be doing this here, in front of her students, but I can’t stand not talking to her, not seeing her. I’ve been going crazy not being near her, knowing nothing has been resolved between us.
“Olivia, I—” The words get caught in my throat. Everything I planned on saying to her, everything I rehearsed over and over again last night, escapes me.
Another one of her students arrives, passing between us and into the classroom. Olivia gives me one last long look before closing the door behind her, leaving it cracked open a quarter of the way for the students still making their way in. My heart breaks at the knowledge that she’s physically and emotionally trying to keep me out.
It takes everything inside of me not to push through that door and hash it out with her right here, right now, but I know how distressed that would make her and how bad that would look. Not only for me, but for her if the students complained to Professor Cooper.
Completely dejected, I take a seat on the bench across the hall, watching the remainder of her class file in, the door cracking open a little wider with each body that passes through. At eight o’clock on the dot, Olivia closes the door all the way and doesn’t spare me a single glance.
I hear her giving instructions for the final, her voice not as bubbly or lively as it normally is.
With a sigh, I sink back against the wall, waiting impatiently until the last student leaves the room.
I hop up from the bench and walk inside the lab to find Olivia quickly collecting papers, no doubt trying to dodge me.
“Finch, we have to talk.” I walk up to where she’s standing at the front lab bench.
