Page 66 of Finders Keepers
“Lovely morning,” I say.
“Too hot,” she disagrees. “And the sun’s barely up. Won’t be good for my tomato plants.”
“I was at Quentin’s.”
“I know. He told me. I wish you would’ve answered your phone.” But that’s all I’m going to get, it seems, because she continues her knitting. “They just did a segment about how to grill corn. Looked pretty good.”
“Mom.”
“Hm?”
“Are you feeling okay?” I ask.
Her mouth pinches, the question catching her off guard. “Little sore from all the weeding I did yesterday. But otherwise fine. Why?”
“I’m concerned about you.”
“About me? Why would you be concerned about me, Nina?”
“Because you’re…you’re…not being nosey. You’re being distinctlyun-nosey, actually. It isn’t like you.”
She sets down her needles and yarn, mutes the television, and turns to face me more. “I am choosing not to take offense to that.” Her face goes softer. “Ninabean, I know things have been hard for you the last couple of months. But I’m glad that it’s at least brought you and Quentin back together. You know I’ve always adored that boy. It doesn’t take a mathematician to put two and two together here as to what has…developed…between you. And since I hardly need or want the sordid details, and you haven’t asked for my opinion—”
“You’re my mother,” I say. “I didn’t think I needed to ask for your opinion. It’s always been freely given.”
“Not with your love life,” she says.
I scoff. “In college you literally once called to tell me not to get involved with a guy you saw in the background of one of my Facebook photos because you thought he looked ‘rude.’ ”
“Well, that was a long time ago. And also, he did.”
“You offered to set me up with Mrs. Bernstein’s grandson. While I was dating Cole.”
“And maybe you should’ve taken me up on that offer. He’s a very good ophthalmologist. He did Karen Harmon’s cataract surgeries last winter. Had it in both eyes, poor woman.” Shepicks up her needles again. “It’s about time I stayed out of your business,” she says.
I go over and sink down onto the couch beside her. “But Mom, I don’twantyou to stay out of it.” As much as I was dreading having to answer her questions this morning, I realize now that part of me was looking forward to it. Because my mom isn’t just my mom; she’s also one of my closest friends. And getting to talk out this strange situation might give me some much-needed clarity. I let out a heavy sigh and lean against her. “I think I’m in over my head,” I confess. “I don’t know what to do. I need help.”
“I know, baby,” she says, and kisses the top of my head. “But I don’t think I’m the right person to give it this time. I know both of you too well. And while of course I love you more, I don’t think I can be impartial if push ever comes to shove.” Her arm goes around me and squeezes me into a hug. “Now go shower. You smell awful.”
“Thaaanks.”
Upstairs, the water falling onto my head and running into my eyes, I wonder what my mother meant by her not being the right person to help me with Quentin. Wouldn’t her knowing us both so well be helpful in this case? Who would even be the right person if not my mother? Sabrina’s no help; when I text her and tell her I spent the night at Quentin’s but we didn’t do anything beyond kiss very chastely, she sends a thumbs-down emoji. She doesn’t understand why we aren’t moving forward until after we find the treasure, thinks it’s all an excuse so he doesn’t hurt my feelings. If I hadn’t talked to Hanako yesterday and found out Quentin’s interest in me dates back much farther than the last few weeks, I might agree. But, especially after last night when he held me and told me I was enough…I just don’t see how it couldn’t be real.
Then again, I couldn’t see that what Cole and I had wasn’t real either.
Dammit, Mom. Why did she have to choose this particular moment to be reticent for the first time in her life?
I try to think back to previous advice she’s given me but can’t seem to find anything relevant beyond how to tell if a watermelon is ripe. I don’t think I can knock on Quentin’s side to determine if he’s a good pick. Even less so when it comes to taking Mrs. MacDonald’s job.
Because maybe Quentin is right that I should be considering that more seriously than I have been. My mom might not have given me any words of wisdom that apply here, but Mrs. MacDonald did:Figure out what it is you want in life before the real “can’ts” come to get you.
It just so happens that the things I want in life are also the ones that might break me if I lose them.
FORM C—7
Text of Interview (Unedited)
VII
