“Okay, Mom. He’s madly in love with me. You figured it out.”
I will not deny that the idea of this makes me giddy.
“Oh, he is for now, maybe. Until hedivorcesyou andruins your life.Which is hiscareer.”
“Okay, Mom. Thanks for the tip. I guess I won’t marry him after all.”
“He deserves to get left at the altar, now that I think about it,” she says, really on one now.
“Yep. Deserves to be in jail, actually. I have to go.”
“You do not,” she counters.
“I do. Love you, Mom. Bye.”
I hang up and shake my head. But I am the slightest bit pleased that she thinks there’s something going on between the two of us.
My phone buzzes again with a message from Dez.
Dezzie:OMG have you guys heard about Seth Rubenstein????
Alyssa:No!
Alyssa:What happened?
Dezzie:His fiancee left him
Alyssa:During quarantine???
Dezzie:Yes! Rob called him with a referral for his nonprofit this AM and Seth was apparently despondent
I do not enjoy hearing this. Poor Seth. However, I can’t help but feel that his mood would be improved if he called me to whisper sweet nothings.
I do not share this sentiment with my friends.
Molly:I heard. really sad. I feel bad for him
Dezzie:You should text him with your thoughts and prayers
Dezzie:And boobs
Alyssa:Well maybe not right away with the titties
Dezzie:True, you gotta have some chill
Dezzie:But this is your time to shine
Molly:OMG you guys WTF??
Alyssa:You deny you two are in love?
Molly:um yes
Dezzie:Puhleeze every time I mention him you get all tragic
Molly:Do not. Stop slandering me
Dezzie:Okay well in other news rob has been acting weird