Page 98 of Sanctifier

But therewassomething she could do, Ru thought, shaking uncontrollably as she watched the last of the courtiers receive Festra’s blessing. Lady Bellenet glowed in the candlelight.There is always a choice. She hated herself in that moment, as much as she hated Hugon.

Dinner was served to a table full of empty shells, Children in courtly regalia, yet to don their white robes. The woman across from Ru had been so full of joy earlier in the evening, a beautiful young Countess who excelled at chess. Now she was gone, a body going through the expected motions, lifting a glass to her lips and drinking, a simulacrum of life. They all were.

“What a lovely evening this has been,” said Lady Bellenet, smiling around at her guests.

Everyone gazed back at her, expressionless. Ru and Taryel, at the other end of the table, held each other’s hands tightly under the tablecloth.

“Indeed,” said Hugon, holding up a wine glass. “Festra’s flock grows so quickly, soon the chapel will not hold them.”

“It won’t need to,” said Lady Bellenet, smiling directly at Ru. “In ten days, there will be no need for a chapel.”

Ru didn’t touch her food during that eerily quiet dinner. She was sick to her stomach, hardly able to sit at the table, let alone eat. Taryel managed to eat both her dinner and his own, which she couldn’t possibly fathom, but she was grateful for his steadiness. Perhaps it was all those years of misery that had made him impenetrable. Or maybe he was simply used to it.

When at last the settings were cleared away, Ru and Taryel took their leave, and he walked with her to her rooms. As they approached her door, a pair of hurried footsteps rang through the hallway.

“Wait for me,” came a voice from behind them.

They turned to see Simon, trotting after them with his lute in tow.

“Where did you go?” Ru asked, relieved at the sight of her brother.

The minstrel dipped a playful bow when he reached them, his copper hair flopping over his forehead as he did. “Evening, Keeper. My lord Taryel.” He eyed the King's Guards in theirperiphery. “Thought I’d take my leave when the party was at its zenith, you know. Why, what did I miss?” His expression said that he knew exactly what he’d missed and why he’d left early.

“Nothing,” said Ru. “Dinner.”

Simon darted a glance at Taryel. “My lord, if it pleases you, may I have a few moments alone with my darling sister?”

Ru bit back a sound of annoyance — Simon was hamming it up for the guards, but his ham always went too far and came out looking ridiculous.

“Of course,” said Taryel. He turned to Ru and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I’ll speak with you later.”

“Lovely,” said Simon, offering Ru his arm. “A bit of tea by the fire? It will only be a moment.”

The guards seemed reluctant, but allowed Ru and Simon to enter her rooms unimpeded. Simon flitted about immediately, setting down his lute and calling for tea, talking as he went. “Nightmarish business, from start to finish,” he said. “Do you know how much it costs to fix a lute? It’s nothing to sniff at. Had to replace two strings, the bridge, and a tuning peg. Not to mention myego.”

Ru slumped onto the sofa facing the fire. “At least you’re not… empty inside.”

Simon paused, a tin of cookies in his hand, which he had procured from who knew where. “I’m sorry,” he said, his tone unusually serious. “I heard… about Lyr. If there was something I could have done—”

“Just don’t throw any parties from now on, all right?” Ru said, feeling strangely bitter. How could her brother go on joking, acting like he hadn’t been outright threatened by Lord D’Luc and the Children? Ru had put herself on the line for him, was tormented every day, and he had only a broken lute to fix.

At last, the tea came, and Simon settled himself next to Ru on the sofa, handing her a cookie with some force. “Eat.”

She took a reluctant bite, chewing slowly. Shewashungry.

“I see that you’re angry with me,” said Simon, shifting uncomfortably as if his clothes were too tight. “That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to, well, apologize. For putting you in a situation that required you to stick your neck out for me.” He poured a cup of tea and handed it to Ru. “And to thank you for doing so. I might be in a bit of a pickle if you hadn’t.”

Ru took the tea, but her hands shook, spilling hot droplets onto her knees, and she had to set it down again. The thought of Simon like that, his mind gone, everything that made himSimon… gone. It made her sick. A hard lump formed in her throat, and she had to close her eyes to keep from crying.

“Oh, no,” said Simon, “don’t. Please don’t cry. I thought you wereangry, Ru. Get angry again. I can deal with anger.”

“I don’t want…” she began, nearly choking on a sob.

Simon groaned.

“Shut up,” she said, speaking through a sudden and steady stream of tears, “I’m going to cry if I w-want to. I just… I don’t want to lose you. Or anyone. Lyr was too much. I can’t even think about it. I can’t—”

Muttering to himself, Simon pulled Ru into an awkward one-armed hug. “There, there,” he said, patting her hair as if he’d never encountered a crying woman in his life before. “Let it out, or whatever you’d like to do. Just don’t get snot on my jacket like last time.”

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