Page 60 of Sanctifier

Ru bit her lip again. She had so many questions. She knew she shouldn’t ask them outright — she should be playing along,drawing information from Lady Bellenet without her knowledge, but… something about the woman told Ru that she saw through Ru’s game. That trying to deceive her would achieve nothing. So she asked, “Why do you believe that Taryel is Festra incarnate?”

“I believe nothing,” Lady Bellenet said lightly. “Iknow.”

“Of course, but how?”

The woman’s expression turned inward, considering. “How do you know that you love Taryel?”

Ru froze, startled by this violation, the presumption of it. “I…”

“Did you perform an experiment?” Lady Bellenet asked. “Form a hypothesis? Did you make notes, sketches of the feeling, until the guess was proven and you were, at last, free to claim it as your own?”

“You can’t experiment on emotions,” Ru said flatly.

“And thus, you make my point for me,” Lady Bellenet replied, smiling. “How do I know that the man you love is also the hand of Festra, the god who saved me from despair? It cannot be proven scientifically. Yet I know it. Because I feel it.”

Something dark and writhing caught in Ru’s throat. “…Do you love Taryel, then?”

Lady Bellenet laughed, and this time it was tinged with sadness. “Of course, child. I love him deeply. In the way a woman of faith loves her god. I am his sworn follower.Youare the missing piece.”

Ru swallowed. She knew the woman had summoned her to her chambers for a reason. Surely it wasn’t to proselytize. “What missing piece?”

“The spark. The flame. The guide. When Taryel’s heart ignites the world at winter solstice, in the Great Cleansing, you will be at its epicenter. The nucleus of a universe reborn.”

“Yes,” Ru said, growing impatient. Was this woman only capable of speaking in metaphors? “I’m expected to harnessthe artifact’s power and cleanse the world. But what happens afterward? Won’t we be… dead?” She paused. “Everyone but me, anyway.”

Lady Bellenet only smiled serenely.

“Based on my experience with the artifact,” Ru went on, “Taryel’s heart I mean, after the Great Cleansing, I’ll be standing alone in a scorched ruin. Where does paradise come in? You speak about rebirth, but all I know of the heart is destruction.” She paused, noting her frustrated tone, and tried to smile placatingly. “Help me understand.”

The lady’s eyes shone. “There is more to this world than we know. There are places beyond the edges of our maps that may only be accessed in moments of great upheaval, pure devotion, souls and souls offered up to one god in a single moment. We, the followers of Festra, will pass beyond the gates of paradise as the heart ignites. We will not die, not in the way you understand it.”

“How? Where?”

“The Isle of the Sun.”

“There is no such place.”

Lady Bellenet tilted her head as if listening to the garbled demands of an infant. “Fear not, child. When you have carried out your holy duty, Taryel will bring you back to us. And together, we will walk into paradise.”

Ru’s exasperation boiled in her chest. The deep well of rage that had been smoldering in her for the past week sent up a violent flame. “What does any of thismean?” she said. “You want me to do thisthingfor you, but you insist on talking in riddles. There is no Isle of the Sun. When I perform the Cleansing, everyone in the kingdom will die. I’ve seen what the artifact can do. You want a new Destruction, to murder thousands of innocent souls, because some made-up godtoldyou to. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t make sense.”

Lady Bellenet’s eyes went dark, and Ru realized too late that she’d crossed a line.

“Not… that I object to that,” Ru said quickly, desperately hoping she hadn’t given herself away altogether. “I’m sorry. Your gift shocked me. I didn’t mean…”

“You do not need to believe,” said Lady Bellenet, her voice slow and heavy. “And I cannot make you. But you have been chosen by Festra. You are holy. Even unbelieving, you will be granted salvation.”

A new, strange emotion rose in Ru then. A small crack in her chest broke open, and a pain that was both joy and sorrow flowed forth.Salvation. She was not innocent. She had killed before, senselessly, in great numbers. At her core, she felt that she was impure, tainted, broken. There was no coming back from what she had done, and no amount of apology or prayer could mend her.

What god, real or imagined, would ever grant her salvation?

Lady Bellenet held out her hand then, palm upward, as if offering some unseen gift.

And Ru, lost in the moment, small and afraid, reached out. Maybe the world was bigger than she understood it to be, and Festra was more than she could have believed. What if therewasforgiveness in his blessing? Could she refuse the possibility?

Lady Bellenet’s fingers closed around hers, slowly, until they were tight and grasping, until Ru’s hand cried out in pain.

The lady’s eyes blazed.

---