Page 47 of Sanctifier

Ru opened her mouth but found she had no idea what to say. A thousand years had passed, but she saw in Taryel’s eyes that it might have been yesterday, the pain was so acute.

“I meant to save them,” he said, and he looked at her with desperation, as if she were his absolution. As if she had the power to forgive. “Instead, I doomed them all. And this,” he gestured to himself, “is my punishment.”

Ru’s thoughts were everywhere. She was horrified by what he had done, at how he could have been so thoughtless with such destructive power. But even as she judged him, she couldn’t helpbut judge herself. She couldn’t meet his eyes. Somehow his fate was tied to hers, and in a pivotal moment, they had both failed.

“You’re not like me,” Taryel said at last, his accented voice barely audible above the crackling fire. “I know that you believe our punishments should be equal. But you’re innocent. What happened to you is my fault. My heart lured you to the Shattered City.Myheart pushed you to do things you didn’t want to do.”

Ru lifted her head and saw that Taryel was watching her. “You know I’ll never accept that,” she said. “My actions belong to me.”

“You had no idea what would happen.”

“But IknewI shouldn’t touch it. I didn’t take precautions.”

“Stop blaming yourself,” Taryel murmured. “Put the burden on me, instead.”

“Taryel…” she wanted to keep arguing with him, but even more, she wanted to reach for him. The artifact, that cursed thing, even now it made her long to feel his hands on her skin, his body against hers, his mouth caressing her neck. Desire flared in her in the wake of Taryel’s truth, and it tasted bitter in her throat. “You should have told me sooner.”

His brows drew together in a frown. “I know. But what could I do? The moment you learned who I truly was, you would have turned on me. Anyone would. And you had myheart. Ru, you were — youare —everything to me. The moment I saw you in the Shattered City, holding that stone… I was done for. I would have followed you anywhere, protected you from anything. I felt you here.” He placed a palm on his chest. “And I knew that we’d been pushed together by fate, or the gods, or the stars in the sky. It didn’t matter why or how. All I cared about was being near you. And when I…” he paused, swallowing thickly. “When I realized that the artifact was no longer part of the equation, that Ru Delara held my heart no matter what the fates had decided, Iknew I had to make things right. So I left. And when I came back—”

“You stole the artifact,” Ru cut in, her voice threatening to break.

“I was going to come back for you. After I fixed things.”

“But you didn’t,” she half-sobbed, unable to hold back any longer. “How can I forgive you for that?”

“I don’t know.” He looked at her with a candid vulnerability that she had seldom seen on his face, an invitation to know him. “But I’d hoped you might find a way.”

She bit her lip, refusing to cry in earnest. “Forgiveness is earned,” she said. “I understand what you’ve done. I’m a scientist; I can rationalize it. But look at where we are. What’s coming. I’m expected to perform a second Destruction, Taryel.”

“I know.”

“How can you ask for forgiveness until we’ve stopped it? King Alaric put this into motion, but if it weren’t for you, Ordellun-by-the-Sea would still be here. You could have cut your losses and run.”

“I know,” Taryel said again. “Not a day goes by that I haven’t regretted that moment. I am constantly thinking of all the ways I could have stopped those lives from being cut short. Please believe me when I say that however deeply you hate me, I’ve spent lifetimes hating myself more.”

Ru had not forgiven him. She did not trust him. But she pushed the plate of cookies across the table, and wordlessly, Taryel took one, a faint smile hovering at the corner of his mouth.

CHAPTER 16

Gwyneth and Archie’s rooms were adjacent to one another, not far from Ru’s. Lyr showed her to them with bold defiance, neither of them knowing whether she was allowed or whether she would be stopped and returned to her room. But the King's Guards posted at her friends’ doors said nothing as she and Lyr approached, despite the late hour.

When Gwyneth opened the door, Ru wasn’t surprised to see Archie there already, half sprawled on a sofa, teacup in hand. The room was well-lit with a fire and oil lamps. Clusters of half-melted candles were scattered about the room.

“Thank god,” Gwyneth gasped, pulling Ru into a bone-shattering hug. “Oh, Ru. We’ve been so worried. After that madness in the throne room—”

“Youwerethere,” Ru said, both relieved and embarrassed that her friends had witnessed the whole thing.

“Of course we were,” said Gwyneth, dragging Ru inside and slamming the door behind her. “We didn’t know what to think. Taryel is here, and he’s… agod? I can’t imagine what you’re going through. We’ve been up all night, Archie’s been pacing like a madman. Are you all right? Please say you’re — wait, let me get you some tea. Archie! Get her some tea.”

Ru was ushered to take a seat by the fire, and Archie, frowning slightly, shoved a welcome cup of tea into her hands. Gwyneth’s large brown eyes were bright with concern, her usually pristine golden curls pulled hastily back with a ribbon. Archie looked his usual well-groomed self, although the telltale shadows under his eyes hinted at a night of little sleep.

“Thought you’d been consumed alive by an ancient god or something,” Archie said, the joke falling flat in the face of his obvious concern.

“Or worse,” said Gwyneth, seating herself next to Archie, “forced to demonstrate with the artifact. We saw you leave the throne room with Taryel. What onearthis going on? These horrible guards at our doors won’t tell us anything, they won’t let us leave. Ru, be honest. Are you all right?”

Ru curled her fingers around the near-scalding teacup, unsure where to begin. Last night’s baffling dinner with Lady Bellenet? Her chilling meeting with Regent Sigrun? Her conversation with Taryel? They had obviously seen the spectacle in the throne room earlier that evening.

“I’m all right,” Ru said at last. “But things are bad.”

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