Page 34 of Sanctifier

Ru struggled to make sense of this. “He makes them swoon at dinner, you mean.”

The lord scowled.

“So you’ve actually chosen the Destroyer,” Ru went on, her tone dripping incredulity, “to be the figurehead of this religious cult? What is the point?”

Lord D’Luc exhaled through his nose. “Lady Bellenet prefers to think of him as a beacon of hope. And the point? It’s you, Delara. You saw the courtiers at dinner, Festra’s newest followers, people who see you as youcouldbe. Taryel’s consort, the Keeper of His Heart. It’s romantic, aspirational. You may as well accept it, Delara — they admire you. They might worship you if given a chance. As they should.”

Ru went cold. “Those people aren’t believers, Hugon. They’re not pious in the least. You know as well as I do that they’re frivolous aristos, indulging in the latest fad. Festra isn’t real to them. It’s all a game. No matter what they believe, no matter what god they profess to follow, when Iactivate the heart,as you so nicely put it, they’ll die. Along with everyone else.” A lump formed in her throat. Without thinking, she breathed, “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

The lord frowned, meeting Ru’s gaze again. As if he were letting her in on a secret, he said, quietly, “If not the making of you, Delara, your mind will be your undoing. Try not to think so much.”

They walked in silence for a few breaths. Ru struggled to contain her emotions, spurred into chaos by everything Lord D’Luc had said. That she and Taryel were meant to be worshiped by the poor palace courtiers, their visages twisted into a horrible farce of a religion.

But as they went, Ru’s mind racing, she realized that the silence between her and Lord D’Luc wasn’t strained or awkward. She found she was used to this, these moments between them. Their arguments, disagreements. He had been a constant presence, albeit unwanted, for months now. The realization hit Ru with a resigned sort of horror. She hadn’t seen it until now, the way she depended on these moments with him. Had her life become such a nightmare that a conversation with an equal, jailor though he may be, was comforting?

“Are we almost to my room?” Ru asked, squeezing her eyes shut as a wave of nausea rolled over her. The evening had been too much for one academic to take, and her body was rebelling. “If I have to lean on your arm for one minute longer, I might actually lose my dinner.”

“Charming,” he drawled. “Just around the corner.”

Ru glared up at him, the man who had held her in his iron grip for months. Hugon D’Luc had wounded her in ways that might never heal. Yet here she was, leaning on him. The only person who saw her as she was, the worst of herself laid out before him on display.

“Here we are,” said Lord D’Luc, coming to a stop at Ru’s door. “I hope you’ve access to your key. I’m not about to search in your pockets for it.”

Unsteady on her feet, Ru dug out the key and held it up. He took it between two long fingers, unlocked the door, and pushed it open. Sybeth stood by, watching with the stern frown of a chaperone.

“Breakfast is at eight,” said the lord, his cheek dimpling slightly. Probably in amusement at Ru’s state — she was sweaty, sickly, and her face burned hot after walking in such a heavy gown.

“Good night,” she said curtly and slammed the door in his face.

Ru hadlong since finished throwing up her dinner, crawling out of her beautiful gown, and rinsing her face and mouth with cold water. She lay now in her enormous bed, wearing the silk nightgown that Pearl had laid out for her. Her head was beginning to ache, but there was a full jug of water by the bed, and she made thorough use of it.

Sleep, however, would not come. Not that Ru expected it would — her stomach was still too queasy, and her thoughts strayed constantly to the one man she was desperate to forget. How was she supposed to sleep after seeing him? Not only was Taryel at the palace, only two short days after practically begging her to run away with him, but he was already well-acquainted with Lady Bellenet.How?

Ru groaned, rolling onto her side and burrowing into her feather pillow. Even with her eyes shut, in the darkness of her mind, she saw only him. His eyes, so familiar to her and yet belonging to a man who wasn’t hers.

Taryel had betrayed her.

And yet… the artifact’s sultry warmth coiled in her mind just as heat coiled in her belly, remembering the way he had looked at her that evening: With pure, unadulterated want. And her body, traitorous thing, had responded in kind.

And now, there was nothing she could do to stop her mind from wandering back to that feeling, watching Taryel’s deft hands, the curve of his neck, the way locks of his hair sometimes clung to the edges of his jaw. The agonizing taunt of his gaze locked on hers.

In the quiet darkness, almost dozing, Ru wondered what she would do if Taryel came to her that night. If he knocked on herdoor, softly, and she answered it in nothing but her nightgown, a thin diaphanous thing that left little to the imagination. She imagined opening the door to him,allowinghim to press his body to hers, to touch her, kiss her.

She let out an unselfconscious groan as she imagined him lifting her, hands on her waist, her backside, her thighs… and carrying her to bed. Would she let him if he tried? What if he were to draw a finger from her chin, down her neck, slowly, encircling her breast with a soft touch? And what if he bent down to tongue her nipple, laving, suckling obscenely, until the silk of her nightgown was soaked and see-through?

Her breath hitched at the thought of it, her hand sliding down between her thighs, pressing the heel of her palm to just above the most sensitive part of her.

What would he do next, then, after he’d had his fill of her nipple? If he were here, he would kiss her neck, sucking on her tender skin, one hand in her hair, holding her gently… the other hand snaking under her nightgown, grazing her thigh.

“Shit,” she said aloud, biting her lip until it hurt.

Taryel wouldn’t take things slow, not if he came tonight. He would use his fingers deftly, his mouth, his voice. He’d whisper in her ear as he plunged his fingers into her, kissing her mouth, her breasts… and then she’d lose control, her back arching…

Ru gasped as she came, her own fingers and the thought of Taryel pushing her over the brink of pleasure. But when she opened her eyes, she was alone in her room, and regret pooled in her chest. She lay there breathing hard, staring up at the ceiling.

You’d let him in, she thought.In more ways than one, and you wouldn’t think twice.

She had ached for him since that night in the dungeon when she had finally let herself give in, when he had kissed her, and he had molded his body to hers as if they were meant to be; as if they were born for each other.

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