Page 109 of Destroyer

Fen stood in the moonlight, hands in his pockets like a young schoolboy caught in the act of breaking a rule. He was taller than Ru had remembered, somehow, his hair caught in the breeze, strands of it caressing his forehead, his ears. He seemed almost nonchalant, as if his sudden appearance in the courtyard hadn’t ripped the very breath from Ru’s lungs.

“Meeting you,” Inda repeated, staring at Fen. “Why?”

He smiled, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “For a nighttime picnic. I left her a note to meet me in the courtyard when she was feeling better. I’ve been waiting.”

“A nighttime picnic,” said Inda. “For what purpose?”

Without warning Fen strode forward, wrapping Ru in his arms, enfolding her in warmth. She froze. She had waited for this moment, yearned every second for his touch, the warmth of him. As if he hadn’t held her heart in his hands, open and yielding, only to crush it. Then he curled a finger, resting it under her chin, tilting her face upward.

Ru held her breath and squeezed her eyes shut. His chest rose and fell against her, steady as he had always been, an anchor in the storm. She felt a soft exhale of breath, and then his mouth on hers.

Fen, her every nerve cried out. She was trembling, helpless in his arms. And though she wanted to resist him, to make it known how much he had hurt her, there was no stopping her lips from parting, allowing him to deepen the kiss. Tears stung the corners of her eyes, still held tightly shut.

And then he broke the kiss, stepping back away from her. She opened her eyes as his warmth fled her body like a ghost of a memory. She stumbled, her knees almost giving way in the face of it.

How dare he? How dare he reappear like this, kiss her so easily, like it was all nothing?

And all the while Inda, expression dull and lifeless, looked on.

“Do you really want to know?” Fen asked, winking lasciviously at Inda.

“No,” said Inda.

“You don’t want all the details?” Fen pressed, laughing. “I had planned to kiss her, as I did just then, and…” but Inda had already turned, white robes fluttering, and was hurrying back into the Tower, the tall wooden door slamming shut in her wake.

Ru stared up at Fen, her emotions warring in her gut, churning until she was sick with it. He was the last person she had expected to see tonight. She’d expected never to see him again. Angrily she brushed the hint of a tear from one eye, breathing hard, unable to look away.

He was fearsome now in the moonlight, his overcoat whipping against his legs. He watched her with clear grey eyes, unreadable. She wanted to bury her face in his chest, to cry until she lost her breath, to drown in the relief of his presence. She wanted to slap him, to make him hurt as much as she had, to shove a blade of agony through his heart. But she couldn’t let herself feel it, she had to pull herself together.

There were bigger things to worry about, and unless Fen had come to help her, he was a distraction.

“What are you doing?” she breathed, still shaking, nearly choking on all the words she longed to say.

“Rescuing you from Inda.”

There was space between them. Not too much, not so much that Ru felt compelled to move closer, but at that moment it felt infinite, a gap between stars. It had been over a week since she’d seen him. Since he had disappeared. She had given up on him. Yet here he was.

She bit the inside of her mouth to keep the tears at bay. “Why?”

“I could ask you the same,” he replied, tossing a meaningful glance at her pack, her field clothes.

“You left,” said Ru, spitting the words like venom, hoping they would find their mark.

Fen let out a long breath, glancing away. “I know. There was something I had to do.”

Her bottom lip trembled and she hated herself for it, hated the way her words were soft and broken: “You left without saying goodbye.”

“I’m sorry.” Regret shone in his eyes along with something that might have been grief.

It was too late. “Isn’t that nice,” spat Ru, and with that she let her anger overtake her heartbreak, her relief. She grasped at the selfishness of him, the impertinence. How dare he disappear from her life for so long, without a word, and reappear just in the nick of time. Torescueher.

He had no idea what she’d been through.

She bit back tears, standing firm as he tried to reach out to her. She backed away, teeth almost clattering with pent-up emotion. “No.” Her voice shook. “Youleftme.”

“I never meant to stay away that long,” he said. There wasn’t a warning of a lie in his eyes, and Ru hoped she knew him well enough to know. “I was angry. Confused.”

“So was I,” she bit back.

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