“Oh, my mistake,” he said. “I thought I’d asked you if you were allright. Silly of me to mishear myself.”
Ru couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped her, tea sloshing in its cup. “Don’t make me spill, Arch. I just… I’ve been wanting to say that for days.”
He made a dismissive noise with his mouth, the air from his lips puffing up and ruffling his light brown hair. “Don’t be silly. I never once held it against you.”
“I know,” said Ru, trying to find the words and failing. “But so much has… I feel different, Arch. As if the woman I was at Dig Site 33 is gone, and I’m a new Ruellian Delara. The world feels bigger now.” She looked up to see that Archie’s smile had faded, mirth replaced with concern.
“So you’re not all right.”
Ru wasn’t sure, and that was the worst part. She knew what she wanted, who she was. But everything else, Lady Maryn, Fen, the attack on the road — none of those things wereall right. And the artifact, even now its presence thrummed in her.
“I don’t know,” she said at last. A log in the fire cracked and fell, sending up a bloom of orange embers.
“You will be,” Archie said, his tone far too confident for someone who had no idea what Ru had gone through. But that was Archie, either making light of something heavy or kicking up a fuss over something truly minor.
She smiled, grateful for his confidence. She could use every bit of support now, especially from her friends.
Archie set down his tea, then reached for Ru’s, setting it gently on the table. He moved closer to her on the sofa until their knees were touching. Close enough to take her hand, to run his thumb over her knuckles. Ru sat unmoving as he made these slow, deliberate movements.Not this again,she thought.
“I’ve missed you,” he said.
Ru knew what that meant — he missed touching her like this, he missed her in his bed. But they would never have worked as a couple, and he knew it. There had been enough arguments in their short time together, neither one able to give themselves fully to the other, both too stubborn to relent. And Ru knew that Archie would have wanted her heart, her feelings. He wanted her to spill forth for him. That was something she couldn’t do.
She studied his face, his delicate freckles, his cut-glass jaw. He was painfully handsome. There had been a reason she’d been so eager, once, to bite those plush lips. But that feeling was long gone now, and even in the face of his obvious lust, she felt no answering attraction.
“Arch…”
“Ru.” He said her name with a smile, his gaze fixed on her mouth.
“We’re not doing this again.” She tried to make the words sound softer than they were, but there was no room for subtlety.
He sat back, blinking. Let go of her hand and cleared his throat.
“I care about you,” said Ru, “obviously. You know that. But…”
His mouth curled petulantly. “It’s Verrill, isn’t it.”
She spluttered, sitting back, away from Archie. “Don’t be ridiculous. It has nothing to do with Fen. I thought we agreed it was best not to continue… whatever we had. We’re not right for each other.”
“That was then. Could it be different now?” His eyes were searching, hopeful. Unusually earnest.
Ru hated this. At that moment, she would have given anything to return Archie’s feelings. It would have been so easy to fall back into his arms, into the safety of a familiar lover. To seek comfort in what was known, what was simple. “I don’t feel that way about you anymore,” she said, the words tasting sour on her tongue. It was the truth, but it hurt to say it.
He swallowed once, nodded, and pushed away from her until he was at the far end of the sofa. “I see,” he said, almost as if to himself.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured. She was. “We’re friends, Arch. You’re my best friend.”
He lifted a sardonic brow. “And what’s Verrill?”
“Also a friend.”
“At least be honest with yourself,” he said, “if not with me.”
“I told you, Fen isn’t relevant.” She bit out the words, her jaw clenched in frustration. She had meant what she said. Fen had nothing to do with her feelings toward Archie.
“For someone so intelligent, you certainly miss the obvious.”
Ru rolled her eyes and reached for a cookie, biting the lemony shortbread and chewing it in annoyance. The last thing she wanted was to continue this argument, but there was no escape now, not unless she fled from the room like a coward.