Page 26 of Destroyer

“Don't you owe me a secret?” she asked, glancing down at her hands. His gaze was too piercing. As if he would uncover all of her, see straight to the crux of her, without even trying.

“What do you study at the Tower, Ru?”

“You’re very good at that,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest, catching Fen’s eye as he smiled. “Deflecting.”

He raised his eyebrows slightly, one disappearing under the shock of thick black hair that always hung over his forehead. “Should I be flattered, or issue an apology?”

She snorted. “I study archaeology, specializing in ancient pottery. Very dry, both literally and figuratively.”

“And what drew you to that?” he asked, resting one elbow on his knee, chin on hand. He looked every bit enthralled, eager to hear the dreary details of Ru’s studies.

She sat in silence for a moment, thinking. Whathaddrawn her to pottery? She smiled to herself, thinking of the wide-mouthed vase she had uncovered at Dig Site 33. Back when things were simple, when the worst thing that could happen to her on any given day was having to interact with Grey Adler.

“The stories,” she said at last. “Every piece I uncover from the earth, every curve, every imperfection, tells a story. Ancient things hold memories. Not just history, or facts, but… emotions. Lived experience.”

Ru’s cheeks colored a little at speaking so honestly, and she hoped Fen wouldn’t notice. She loved learning, loved to put together the pieces of a scientific question, answering it with meticulous work and regimented steps of study. But at the core of it all, she loved the humanity behind the artifacts. The things that couldn’t be measured or calculated.

Fen listened intently. “Objects reflect the events around them,” he said, a faraway look in his gray eyes. Then his gaze flicked up to hers, and his expression softened. “You love what’s in the background. The unseen.”

“You could put it that way,” said Ru. In fact, he had worded the feeling exactly. And there was no judgment in him, only solemn interest. “You know,” she said, chewing her lip, not knowing why she said it and yet pushing on anyway, “I used to study magic.”

“At the Tower?” he asked, sitting up a bit straighter. But he didn’t laugh or smirk, as she thought he might.

She nodded, her thoughts flickering to the artifact. It responded, a pull at her consciousness, sharper than usual, as if she and it had thought of each other in the same instant.

“I wrote a paper on it,” she went on, trying to ignore the artifact’s louder presence in her mind. “That’s why I was summoned to the Shattered City. The regent had read my paper and thought it might somehow relate to…” she trailed off, angling her head toward the saddlebag where the artifact was swaddled.

“But you gave up on it?” Fen asked, leaning forward a bit, his brow furrowed. “Studying magic, I mean.”

“My paper wasn’t received well by the academic community. To put it mildly.”

“How odd,” he said. “I would have thought… Well, I suppose I don’t know what’s generally accepted in the academic circles of Navenie. I would have found your paper fascinating.”

“I doubt that,” said Ru, old feelings of shame rising up in her, dulled with time but still sharp enough to hurt. “It was ultimately pointless. And even after all that studying, all that preparation, I was useless at the Shattered City. I provided no help. All I did was…” she trailed off, biting the inside of her mouth to distract herself enough not to cry.

“Ru,” said Fen, starting to get to his feet.

“Don’t,” she said, shaking her head. “I’m fine. I’m just tired.”

“You need rest,” he said, sitting down again. “I’ve pushed you too hard. Wait there.”

He stood and went to the saddlebag, pulling a bedroll from within. In a few long-legged strides, he crossed the small clearing, settling the bedroll in a patch of shaded grass. When it was laid out, its wrinkles smoothed, he turned to Ru.

“Get some sleep,” he said. “I’ll be here if you need anything.”

With the offer of sleep came the realization that she was tired, so bone-tired that her eyelids hung heavy like weights.

“Thank you,” she said, stumbling over to the bedroll and crawling inside. The ground was hard and uneven, but the blankets were soft, and she was so… so tired.

“Sleep tight,” said Fen, his voice low as he settled himself by the fire once more. “And here's my secret. I believe in magic, too.”

She wanted to respond, to ask him how, and why, but her thoughts pulled her into darkness and she slept, the trees waving above her in the afternoon sun.

CHAPTER9

Ru woke once in the small hours of the morning, confused and damp with dew. Sitting up in a panic, her eyes roving, she wondered where she was, how she got there. And then she saw Fen, curled up not far from where she lay. He was using his cloak as a blanket, and beads of dew clung to his hair. In sleep, he looked so peaceful. Younger than he had initially seemed.

Ru felt her heartbeat slow, her breaths coming in an even tempo.

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